If It Pleases Him

It is time to be all-in to our husbands. Marriage should not be a prison for him but a place of freedom. So many times, I hear wives complain about how much their husbands are into sports and other recreational matters that seem to tear the fabric of their marriage. Men and women have different needs. The very thing that separates us are the very things that should bring us together. We have to admit that we are a little needy. We are a little too selfish. We are little too unreasonable.

I tell women all the time that our husbands are not our wives. They are men. Men have testosterone. They have levels of energy that we do not share. I know that we’d like to think we can fulfill his every need but that is not humanly possible but it is possible spiritually. I say this because the very human nature of a man is recreational. He is a conqueror and fixer. He enjoys things that stimulate his masculinity, and for some men video games create this fix. While video games may seem childish to us, it can be the perfect form of release for him.

Before I married my husband, he was very clear with me that I am about to marry into a football family. His father coached football for many years and he and his brothers were raised playing organized team sports and they shared friends in common who enjoy long hours at the barbershop often reminiscing about their youthful years, supporting some of their friends who have become coaches, and talking endlessly about stats and games. I learned quickly that time at the barbershop could take hours and this was time he needed to have. I was invited to come with him and, while I didn’t understand half of the stuff they talked about, I saw him come alive. I saw him in an element he did not share with me. I saw a passion in him that I had not experienced in our relationship and I embraced it instead of fighting against it.

Instead of fighting against his love for sports and passion for the game he’d loved since he was a child or forcing him to choose between me and long hours at the barbershop with his brother and childhood friends, I embraced it. I loved him. Loving him meant that I loved what he loved. No, I didn’t love football, but I loved giving him the space and time to enjoy it. I loved that he could have the best of both worlds- a loving girlfriend he could date without feeling torn between the things he loved and the girl he loves. Eventually, I became the girl he married and our Sunday’s and Monday’s have been filled with football ever since. I learned early that when his needs were met, he had no problem meeting my needs. Instead of fighting against it, I joined in with him and I grew to love the game and share in the experience.

Whether we are in the heat at the top of Nationals Stadium at a Washington Nationals baseball game, freezing cold in the stands at FedEx Field watching the Washing Redskins, being entertained by the characters of WWE at the Verizon Center, or sitting on the front row at church during Holy Convocation; I love being with my man and my man loves being with me. Even if I did not attend the sports events with him, I could use that time for something I’d like to do, but I found over the years that there is no place I’d rather be than being all-in to whatever my husband wants to be.

So I ask you are you all in?

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