As I sat on my parents’ porch enjoying the summer breeze, I watched school bus after school bus pull up and drop off the kids who now live on the same block where I grew up. I watched the school aides walk some off the bus and have almost a “good riddance” attitude. I watched others walk off and wave to the child looking forward to tomorrow. Then I watched after parent after parent came outside or opened the door for their children. Some parents were genuinely happy to see their children return after spending the day apart. Others seemed annoyed at the mere presence of this child returning home.
Some of the things this got me thinking of was where is the village now?
I understand now as a mother why it’s so important to have a village. It’s not only for the care of the kids, but for the sake of a mother’s sanity as well. Yes, we are women who are capable of playing every role and truly fulfilling the “I’m every woman” heels, but truth be told, why do we want to?
As a mom of 3, I am grateful for my “village”. I think about how grateful I am often. For most of these mothers, it wasn’t that they didn’t want to see their children. It was more that these mothers are frustrated, tired, stressed out, and more. Their “village” is either nonexistent or lacking. They have spent so much time pouring into their children, and yet no one has poured into them. They have become depleted and their emotional “bank” is now suffering. This causes them to be short with their children, to be moody and emotional and defensive. Where is the “village” for these mothers?
I have been blessed to grow up in a family where my siblings have always been my closest friends. I have also been blessed to be able to make friends who have become like family. When I feel my tank running on empty, I know there is someone in my “village” available to call and talk to who will understand. And this is vice versa. It’s not uncommon for me to receive a call about the same thing.
Life is difficult enough without having to go through it all on your own. Somewhere along the line, we as women lost sight of the “village”, and instead focused on self. The weight of the world on one person can become crushing.
When we can connect in sisterhood, and work together without competition and ego getting involved, our village will be able to be resuscitated. When we can collaborate instead of judge the parenting style or choices, we will be in a much better position to help each other. It is possible.
I look around and am grateful for my “village”. I know my children will be all the better for each of these people in their lives. I know I will be better for them also. When we can collaborate and pool together ideas, information and resources it strengthens not only us individually, but also collectively. So Sexy Moms, I ask you, where is your village? Does it exist? How can you tap in to your “village”?