Why Keshia Knight Pulliam’s Personal Life Is NONE Of Our Business!

Have you ever been in a relationship where everyone seemed to have something to say about it? Where everyone felt the undying need to inject their personal opinions in YOUR relationship? Now has that ever been done in the public eye where millions of people felt the need to do it? Just think, that’s Keshia Knight Pulliam’s life. Unfortunately being scrutinized by the public eye comes with the life of being a celebrity.

Whatever the circumstances of their relationship, whatever the circumstances of her pregnancy, she deserves to be happy. Not only is a divorce painful, but finding out through social media that your husband filed for divorce is even more painful, not to mention embarrassing. And to top it off, the paternity of the baby you are carrying is now being questioned. I’d say she needs to be cut a little slack to just go through the emotions without the entire country jumping down her throat. I’ve seen people accuse her of being desperate for a baby, stealing someone else’s man, marrying too soon, not being “submissive” enough, etc. Yet all of it is based on the opinion’s of those who have nothing involved in the relationship.

If you’re married, you know that marriage in itself can be a challenge to maintain.  Can you imagine if your marriage was put under public scrutiny? Can you imagine if she was your daughter? Or your sister?

I’m married and I couldn’t imagine what she’s going through. Whatever the details behind her relationship, and the paternity of her baby, I can honestly say I wish her the best. Whatever lessons needed to be learned through this experience, I hope she learned them and embraces her truth. I hope she is able to be the best mother to that child that she can be. That child needs her to be healed and whole in order to impart into her daughter the best lessons possible.  Keshia, we wish you all of the best and hope you have a strong support system by your side, and a village to help you raise that blessing.

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How This Mom Used Social Media To Make Things Right

Social media has been buzzing lately in praise of this mother who, upon learning that her daughter and step-daughter were rude and disrespectful during a movie, used social networks to make things right with the other mother.  Kyesha smith Wood dropped her 3 kids off at a movie theater to see Cinderella.

Upon their return home, it was brought to her attention by her son that the daughters had been particularly rude and disrespectful to a mother who was watching the movie with her daughter.  The woman tried to correct the kids’ behavior during the movie, and they were rude and obnoxious.  The woman then told the kids after the movie that this was the last movie she would be able to see for awhile, as her husband had just lost is job.  They ruined the experience for her and her daughter.  The son relayed this to his mother about his sisters’ behavior when they got home, and the mother decided to take action.

Social Network Apology

The kids’ mother took to writing an apology message on a facebook page for their community.  She asked for the other mother to contact her.  She wanted to pay for the mother and her husband to go to the movies, and enjoy snacks at the expense of their daughters’ allowances.  She also expressed that she was disappointed and ashamed of her daughters’ behavior, and wanted them to apologize to the woman.

This message was shared many times over on social networks and eventually made it’s way to the intended recipient-Rebecca Boyd.  “…After I read it I was touched that she cared how her kids behaved,” Boyd said. “You don’t see that a lot these days.”

While Woods’ girls were embarrassed over the whole situation, they understood their parents’ intentions, and have learned from their mistakes.  The son was encouraged to continue doing what was right, even when it isn’t easy.

 

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I’d Rather They Smoke with Me

Recently I was scrolling through social media only to come across a video of a mother and daughter. That, alone, sounds harmless. After all, there are endless videos of mother-daughter duos sharing their personal moments with the world. Unfortunately, this moment should have remained personal and, in my opinion, never taken place and never shared with the world. This video was of a mother teaching her teenage daughter how to perform oral sex using a cucumber.

I am all for educating out children with the proper information about all things in life. I believe it is the darkness of ignorance that holds our youth captive to their poor choices and residual consequences. Without wisdom attached to their experiences, they are never able to transcend beyond where they are into older, wiser, and productive adults who are capable of sowing seeds into those behind them, now prey to the same poor choices….but I digress.

This was not an educational video fit for a high school health or sex education class. It was sexual, sensual, and, in my opinion, inappropriate. The mother was explicitly showing and training her daughter how to give “good head” and it was uploaded for the world to see forever. Clearly, the mother had no concern for herself or thought of any legal issues. Child protective services never crossed her mind but what about her daughter? Millions is spent educating our children about online bullying and posting things that will follow them into college admission processes and job interviews. At bare minimum, this girl now gets to go through school being solicited by every horny teenage boy (or worse) for years.

Among one parenting group, this video sparked a larger discussion about what is acceptable to do with your children. What is okay to expose them to? Do the limits for inside the house differ from those outside? I have heard parents say, “If they are gonna drink I would rather they drink here so I know they are safe.” I have heard, “They are gonna smoke weed anyway. Its better that they do it with me so I can watch them and know what they are doing?” Wait…what? You are high and want to be the one to watch your child while they are high? Okay.

I understand the sentiment of a parent who would rather be the source of the correct information. I understand the protective nature of a parent who has conceded to the belief that “they are going to do it anyway” and wants to make sure their child is not ingesting, inhaling, or consuming any product that could be tainted or hazardous to their health or safety. I understand.

I talk to my daughter about more than most. She has been exposed to much until there is little that is a mystery to her. On the other hand, I have also had to go back and properly teach her something her friends or “the streets” tried to teach her incorrectly. But at the end of it all, there is a line that exists where a parent is supposed to educate what is acceptable for our society rather than condone it and participate in it with their children. That blurs and eventually completely recreates the boundaries until our entire moral standards are rewritten and not necessarily for the better.

With all that I do and will continue to teach my daughter about everything including oral sex, I can never envision myself videotaping me teach her how to perform it, then upload it to the internet. What do you think? Too far? Is smoking or drinking with your child different? Does the video make it worse? Would you rather your child do any illegal, frowned upon, or illicit thing with you, without you, or not all?

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Shaming Kids On Social Media: Dangerous Or Discipline?

On any given day you can come across videos of parents shaming their kids on social media for their behavior.  From the pictures of a little boy with an old man haircut, to a video of a dad shooting his daughter’s laptop, and another of a father spanking his teenage son.  Are these videos teaching our children a lesson?  Or are they causing more damage than good?

In the case of one of those videos where the teenage boy was claiming to be affiliated with a local gang, after the video went viral, it is said that he was shot and killed because he claimed to be a part of that gang.  I don’t know how much truth there is to that claim.

While I must admit, some of these children nowadays are really out of hand.  However, I must pose the question, is that the child’s fault, or the parents’ fault.  Prison systems are being built for our boys based on their elementary school statistics.  So I pose the question, does a little shaming prevent the repeat of a behavior, which may down the line graduate to prison time?  Is it worth it? Is it overboard?

Social media shaming is so new that there hasn’t really been a chance to see to what degree this will affect the kids once they are adults, and possibly raising their own children.  Does this leave lasting psychological damage?  Is it not as serious as some may believe? Does it allow the child to escape the punishment for the trade of being shamed on social media?

One point that I would like to make is many people thought/think the same damage occurs when a child is spanked.  I can attest to hearing countless people say the spankings they received growing up kept them in line, and even helped them stay out of trouble.  I can also attest to that.  I raise my children with a mix of both.  It’s not often that I will spank my children, but I also institute other disciplinary measures. So are these parents doing the same?

We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  Have you tried a similar disciplinary method with your child? Are you against it? Share your thoughts.

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