10 Things NOT To Say To A Pregnant Woman

I’m now 8 months pregnant, and I can honestly say I’ve heard some of the most ridiculous comments from people during my pregnancy. I’ve heard comments that have gone from uber nosy to downright rude and obnoxious. Having experiences like this help me remember what NOT to say to another pregnant woman. Here are 10 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Feel free to add more if you’d like.

1. Wow, you’re huge!
Right, because it’s not like I look down at myself every day and see a large boulder-sized belly looking back at me, I definitely needed you to point it out to me. Thank you for that!

2. Is it your husband’s/boyfriend’s baby?
Now, this was one of the most idiotic questions I’ve been asked during the pregnancy. If this baby wasn’t from my husband/boyfriend, do you think I’d really share it with you? Thankyouverymuch!

3. Are you sure there’s only 1 baby in there and not 2?
*Facepalm* That is all…

4. In regards to pregnancy, Google says…
Anything Google says, you can pretty much bet that we stopped listening to you once you said “Google said”. Unless Google can replace the care of our Midwives/Doctors, please save your Google facts.

5. Did you get pregnant by accident?
Clearly, if I’m having sex, there’s a possibility of pregnancy, just as there is for anyone having sex. So while the baby may or may not have been planned, you asking that is overstepping your boundaries.

6. Did you want another baby?
So how much money is in your bank account? Not my business right? Exactly! Just say congratulations. The prying, invasive questions are so unnecessary.

7. Are the kids happy about a new baby?
No, they’ve actually staged a protest and are filing injunctions against the new baby as we speak. Seriously? It’s an adjustment for any family. A better question would be to wait until after the baby is born and ask how is everyone adjusting? Is there anything I can do to help?

8. You look like you’re about to drop a load.
I’m sorry, are you referring to taking a massive dump or giving birth to a baby? The phrase drop a load just sounds so abrasive and gross.

9. Can you still have sex while you’re pregnant?
Seriously? Can you still take a shower in the summer? What kind of ridiculous question with no boundaries is that?!

10. You look like you’re about ready to pop!
Again, do I look like a balloon? Please don’t tell a pregnant woman she looks like she’s ready to pop.

Feel free to add any others you can think of. We’d love to hear it!

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“Your Child is Perfect” – One Mom’s Letter to Her Doctor

Have you ever wanted something really bad? You worked so hard to prepare for it. You thought about it every minute of the day. When it finally seemed like it was time to celebrate your success, someone was there to tell you “Stop.” You cannot have what you wanted, what you’ve dream of, and prayed for. You need to destroy what you’ve done and start over as if you were writing something on a piece of paper and could just ball it up and toss it in the trash, confident another blank page was waiting for your success.

 

Now imagine if what you wanted were a child. You’ve watched everyone else become a mom and so wanted that for yourself. You did every thing healthy to prepare your body and finally became pregnant. Now imagine the doctor telling you something was wrong with that child. Imagine they told you to get rid of him/her and try again later. What would you do?

Would you follow doctor’s orders? Would you seek a second opinion? Would you look at the mom friends around you with their “perfect” kids and decide you wanted that and only that? Would you feel like you were alone and without any choice but the doctor’s? Most importantly, what, if anything would you say to that doctor?

One mom spoke up, alone in her pain, chose to no longer feel alone in the middle of her maternal crisis. She was told by the doctor to abort her child because it would not be “perfect.” Still, she made the choice to have her baby. She realized despite the medical diagnosis, her baby was perfect and had something to contribute to this world. But she also felt the pain of realizing others were not as blessed to believe they had choices and who blindly trusted the recommendation of that and other doctors to abort their child. Her empathy for others prompted her to write and open letter to that doctor.

A portion of the letter reads:

I came to you during the most difficult time in my life. I was terrified, anxious and in complete despair. I didn’t know the truth yet about my baby, and that’s what I desperately needed from you. But instead of support and encouragement, you suggested we terminate our child. I told you her name, and you asked us again if we understood how low our quality of life would be with a child with Down syndrome. You suggested we reconsider our decision to continue the pregnancy.

To see a copy of the full letter click HERE.

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Why I Hated My Postpartum Body

As I got undressed to take a shower, I looked in the mirror at my 4-day postpartum body and my first thought was yuck! I didn’t like the still swollen stomach, and the changes in my body. It was in that train of thought that I asked myself why did I think this body was ugly? Why was it foreign looking to me? I had just pushed a child out 4 days prior after a 34 hour labor. Why wouldn’t my body still bear some resemblance of the trauma it had been put through?  Why would I expect my body to snap back to looking exactly the same when it took a 9 month process to go through all of the stages of change?  I had to ask myself what was I allowing to shape my opinion of how my body looked? Was I comparing myself to these celebrities who show no signs of having just had a baby? Did I have an unrealistic expectation? My resounding answer was yes!

While my husband reassured me that I was still beautiful, and each stretch mark was a reminder that I gave him 3 children, in my head my body still was not beautiful to me. When I realized just how unrealistic I was being, I decided to embrace my postpartum body. After all, my body had gone through a battle to bring forth a new life.  A little person that would amaze me as he goes through each day, just as his sister and brother have.

I looked in the mirror and embraced every part of me. I embraced my face, the sleep deprived eyes and messy hair.  I took care of my babies, pouring everything out of me into them. I embraced my breasts that now sat heavy and full of milk to nourish my new baby, just as I had with my other two. How could I expect them to still look the same? I embraced my still swollen looking stomach that had housed and protected 3 babies until their births. This belly that had kept them close and listening to my heartbeat for 9, actually 10 months. I embraced my hips and thighs that were now swollen and had some extra dimples that weren’t there before, but they’d held up the ever growing weight as I carried these babies. I embraced my swollen legs and feet still showing very clear signs of Edema. I embraced the stretch marks on my stomach, hips, and thighs as reminders of having been blessed to carry 3 children, and not taking it for granted, as some never get the opportunity.

As I embraced every inch and curve of my body, I was reminded that these changes would be continual and ever-changing. If it wasn’t from having a baby, it will be from getting older. I am what a real woman looks like. I am what a mom looks like. I am what a sexy mom looks like. I take care of my body, and I embrace the changes that will continually come. So while the title may be a bit misleading, it was in that brief moment, I hated my postpartum body. Yet in those following moments, I learned to love and embrace it.

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Pregnant? 10 Things You Actually Do NEED For Baby

Next week I’ll be 6 months pregnant. If you’re anything like me, you can start feeling overwhelmed with all of the new baby items that are out. Since this isn’t my first baby, I have the experience of knowing what we needed for my last two, and what was just a want…or what was completely useless. So now that I’m on baby #3, I’m trying to figure out what’s needed again, and what’s just a want. Part of this has to do with how we choose to raise our babies as well. For example, I plan on breastfeeding, and when he is old enough to start on food, I plan to make his baby food. That would mean I need a blender for baby food. Not all parents are going this route, but it’s what we chose. So here’s a list of items you actually need for baby, unless specified, the brand is not important. If you have anything to add, please feel free. We’d love to hear it!

1. Baby Swing

fisher_price_my_little_snugabunny_cradle_n_swingThis has helped tremendously when it came to my babies.  Sometimes you need to put the baby down and get something done. However, that doesn’t always mean baby agrees with you. This allows the baby to stay entertained, and soothed, while you move around and do what you need to. Note: Make sure baby is correctly strapped in every time you put your precious bundle in the swing.

 

2. Swaddling Blankets

Bamboo_Muslin_Swaddle_Azure_Baby  Swaddling blankets are amazing!! Since babies are used to being in the womb, where they are as snug as a bug in rug (you can tell I have kids), when they come out, they’re comforted by being swaddled as well. Babies don’t yet know where their bodies are in space, so without the swaddling, you may notice your baby having more startled reactions. It’s that “feeling like they’re falling” feeling that they get.  Also, most babies that are swaddled are much easier to calm and soothe.

3. Baby Carriers

BabyKtan3Baby Carriers are so unbelievably convenient for the mom and dad on the go.  It not only allows that skin to skin contact, but it also comforts the baby. It’s also very convenient for the nursing mom.  Make sure you choose a carrier that works for the age your baby is.

 

 

4. Baby Stroller

stroller-baby-trend-passporBaby strollers are extremely convenient as well.  Now, strollers have come a long way, and there are so many different versions now that it can feel overwhelming trying to choose.  There are infant strollers that allow the baby to lay down instead of sitting up like an older baby.  Unfortunately, the baby doesn’t stay in that stage for long. What I did was use a carrier for that short time until baby was big enough for the regular strollers. Also, make sure the one you buy allows the seat to have a recline for baby when they fall asleep. It’s not comfortable to see your baby’s head dangling when they’re sleep. Also make sure it has a long sun canopy for sunny days.  You don’t want the rays burning the baby. Cup holders and trays are a nice addition. It allows baby to eat little finger foods, and rest the bottle while traveling. It’s not a necessity though.

5. High Chair

highchairTrust me, you’re going to need one of these!  There aren’t many things harder than trying to feed a squirming baby, who can move faster than the speed of light, smacking food out of your hand and sending it flying in the kitchen. Don’t ask me how many times that has happened…More than I can count. Make sure the seat is something you can easily clean. You don’t want dried, stuck on food smelling up the house, or scratching your baby’s gentle skin.

 

6. Food Processor

foodproc

If you plan on making food for baby, this is an excellent option. You can make small amounts, and be able to clean it relatively quickly.  The food processor also is able to break down nuts and seeds so it becomes smooth.  There are many health benefits to adding nuts and seeds to food.  Food mills don’t process seeds or nuts, but they do seive out any course debris which will allow for creamy foods like soups and such.

 

7. Mesh Toy Bag

toy sanitierBath toys are so gross if you ask me.  The kids love them though.  They sit dripping wet after bath, and if there are any holes, there’s almost a party of mold/mildew that will grow.  Now, after throwing out dozens and dozens of bath toys, I figured out if I put them in a mesh toy bag, and every so often wash them in the dishwasher, they grew no mold or mildew. They were sanitized, and ready for play when it was bath time again.

 

8. Formula Dispenser

formula

If you’re formula feeding your baby, this is a must have. For my first baby, I would have to carry the can around in the bag, adding extra bulk and weight. When I had my second baby, I discovered this formula dispenser, and it was so helpful! Each compartment holds enough for a full bottle. If need be, you can even pack 2, and it still takes up less space than the formula can.

 

9. Car Seat

carseatIn order to bring your baby home from the hospital, you’re going to need a car seat.  Most hospitals now check for car seats before they allow the baby to go home.  It’s a safety issue. Back in the days, they would allow the mom to hold the baby in the back seat. Not anymore. Car seats are now a necessity if you’ll be riding in a car, even if you’re not the driver.

 

 

10. Baby Tub

BABY-BATHWhile at the very beginning, you won’t need to put baby in the bath until the cord area heals up, after that baby is going to need a bath.  The best baby tubs I’ve found are the ones that are convertible. They come with a mesh screen for newborns, and once they outgrow it, you can easily remove it. Please make sure you keep one hand on the baby at all times. Wet, squirmy babies can be pretty slippery. You don’t want any accidents.

 

So are there any absolute must-haves that you can think of? Leave comment, we’d love to hear!

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