10 Things NOT To Say To A Pregnant Woman

I’m now 8 months pregnant, and I can honestly say I’ve heard some of the most ridiculous comments from people during my pregnancy. I’ve heard comments that have gone from uber nosy to downright rude and obnoxious. Having experiences like this help me remember what NOT to say to another pregnant woman. Here are 10 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Feel free to add more if you’d like.

1. Wow, you’re huge!
Right, because it’s not like I look down at myself every day and see a large boulder-sized belly looking back at me, I definitely needed you to point it out to me. Thank you for that!

2. Is it your husband’s/boyfriend’s baby?
Now, this was one of the most idiotic questions I’ve been asked during the pregnancy. If this baby wasn’t from my husband/boyfriend, do you think I’d really share it with you? Thankyouverymuch!

3. Are you sure there’s only 1 baby in there and not 2?
*Facepalm* That is all…

4. In regards to pregnancy, Google says…
Anything Google says, you can pretty much bet that we stopped listening to you once you said “Google said”. Unless Google can replace the care of our Midwives/Doctors, please save your Google facts.

5. Did you get pregnant by accident?
Clearly, if I’m having sex, there’s a possibility of pregnancy, just as there is for anyone having sex. So while the baby may or may not have been planned, you asking that is overstepping your boundaries.

6. Did you want another baby?
So how much money is in your bank account? Not my business right? Exactly! Just say congratulations. The prying, invasive questions are so unnecessary.

7. Are the kids happy about a new baby?
No, they’ve actually staged a protest and are filing injunctions against the new baby as we speak. Seriously? It’s an adjustment for any family. A better question would be to wait until after the baby is born and ask how is everyone adjusting? Is there anything I can do to help?

8. You look like you’re about to drop a load.
I’m sorry, are you referring to taking a massive dump or giving birth to a baby? The phrase drop a load just sounds so abrasive and gross.

9. Can you still have sex while you’re pregnant?
Seriously? Can you still take a shower in the summer? What kind of ridiculous question with no boundaries is that?!

10. You look like you’re about ready to pop!
Again, do I look like a balloon? Please don’t tell a pregnant woman she looks like she’s ready to pop.

Feel free to add any others you can think of. We’d love to hear it!

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Took Me 34 Years, But I’ve Learned…

So I turned 34 a couple of days ago. In my 34 years, I have come to learn some things. While I’m still learning and changing every day, I just wanted to share some of the things I have learned:
1) I have allowed too many people to have too much say in MY life. That’s over. The consequences, whether they be good or bad, for every choice I make are mine. So in that regard, allowing anyone other than myself to make those decisions would not make much sense. Often we want to please the people in our lives and want to feel validated, so we allow them the space in our life to make those decisions for us, or to influence those decisions.
2) I have learned to stop chasing people. Those who want to be active in my life will make the effort. Those who don’t, I have let go of. I have learned that this also must apply to family too. There will be people who no matter what, will never put in the amount of effort it takes to nourish and maintain a relationship with you. This will often leave you feeling unfulfilled, or like you’re spending more energy pouring into the relationship and getting nothing back. You’re worth so much more. You’re worth having a friendship or relationship where they pour into you just as much as you pour into them. That’s how the relationship will grow.
3) I am still changing and growing. If you hold me to who I used to be, that says more about you than it does me. We all make poor choices, we all make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Allow them the space and the opportunity to grow and learn from those mistakes. Often mistakes and poor choices are made because of a lack of maturity, or an issue in a certain area. Sort of a character flaw. It can be rectified. Most people don’t have malicious intent when they make poor choices. Forgive them. Forgive yourself.
4) I spend most of my time pouring into others, and have not spent enough time allowing myself to be poured into. I will invest more into myself from now on. As women, and especially moms, this is where many of us go wrong. Cardiac disease is still the number 1 silent killer of women. We literally work ourselves to death. Please know that you’re no good to anyone dead, or seriously sick. Everyone around you would prefer to have you healthy and whole. Take some time for yourself to meet your needs. You’re just as important as everyone else. 


5) I am on the verge on something really big! Stay tuned!! Sexy Moms Rock has something in store for you! We’re excited!!

Now you’ve read some of the life lessons I’ve learned. I’d love to hear what you can add on to that.

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New Mexico Parents’ Creative Punishment For Their Teen

Everyone knows the teenage years can be trying times for parents.  After getting fed up with their disrespectful teenage son, and tired of him stealing from them, these New Mexico parents have forced him to live outside in a tent only coming indoors to sleep and bathe.  They’re also feeding him and keeping in compliance with state rules.

They even gave their teen son the option of writing 5 book reports on being respectable.  He refused, so the parents are sticking with this punishment for at least a month.  When interviewed by local news outlets, the mom Angela Boggus states “We’re not doing anything wrong here,” “We’re simply trying to teach our child a lesson.”

His dad, Jacob, added, “If he doesn’t learn that now, it’s gonna be the whole world’s problem, not just ours, in a couple of years.” “Anybody who wants to talk some sense into him is more than welcome. We’re not trying to hide from this,” Jacob said.

The neighbors have offered extreme criticism, and even reported to authorities.  Makes you wonder if they offered any ideas to help, or has it just been criticism?  While for some this may seem like a harsh punishment, these parents feel like they’re out of options.

If this were your teen, what would you do?

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11 Celebrity Moms Doing It Big–While Balancing Motherhood

It’s no secret that parenting while in the limelight has it’s advantages and disadvantages.  Kudos to the moms who can balance it all.  The main thing I hear them saying is having that “village” is so important to the balance, health, and development of their family.

1. Jill Scott

Jill Scott is a mom to a 7-year-old a son.  Although her relationship status is single, she’s quick to point out that she’s not raising him alone. She has credited her “village” for being there for her and Jett.  Jill is a Singer, Songwriter, Actress, and Activist.

 

Tisha Campbell-Martin is a mom to 2 sons.  Her son Xen is Autistic, and she is outspoken about raising awareness of Autism within the African-American and Latino community.  Tisha is a Singer, Songwriter, Rapper, Actress, and Activist.  She can also be seen making appearances on the show “Real Husbands of Hollywood”.

 

3. Garcelle Beauvais

Garcelle Beauvais is a mom to 3 sons.  Having twin sons who are biracial, it inspired Garcelle to pen the series of children’s book “I am mixed”.  She is best known for her role as Fancy on the Jamie Foxx show.  Garcelle is not only an Author but also an Actress, Producer and Activist.  I must also add, having had the chance to interview her personally, she is very humble and down to earth.

 

4. Traci Braxton

Traci Braxton is a mom to an only son.  She has been an advocate for children with JRA (Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis).  Coming from a family of singers, she is also a singer and makes guest appearances on various television spotlights.  She is also currently on the hit reality show “The Braxton Family”, which is centered on her and the Braxton family.

 

5. Tamera Mowry-Housley

Tamera Mowry-Housley is a mom of 2 and an Actress, Producer, Talk Show Host, and an Author.  She first gained fame for her teen role as Tamera Campbell on the ABC/WB sitcom Sister, Sister. She has also starred in the Disney Channel Original Movie Twitches and its sequel, Twitches Too.  She has played various other roles as well.  She is currently one of the hosts for the daytime TV show “The Real”.

 

6. Holly Robinson-Peete

Holly Robinson-Peete is an Actress, Model, Singer, Author, and Reality TV star.  She is the mother to 4 children, and the wife to a former football player.  Holly is best known for her role in 21 Jump Street but has also been well known to the Autism community for her book “My Brother Charlie”, which she wrote with her daughter.  Holly is currently starring in a reality series called “For Peete’s Sake”.

 

7. Sofia Vergara

A regular in many of Tyler Perry’s movies, and on the hit show Modern Family, Sofia Vergara is the mother to an only son.  She is an actress and model.  Born in Columbia, she achieved stardom there and then came to America.  She is also a survivor of Thyroid Cancer.
 

8. Kandi Buruss  

A former singer of the 90’s female group X-scape, Kandi has left her mark in the music world.  She is a singer, songwriter, producer and actress.  She is the mother of 2 and the stepmother to her husband’s daughter.  Kandi is also one of the stars of Bravo network’s Real Housewives of Atlanta.

 

9. Beyonce

Whether you love her or hate her, she has absolutely become a powerhouse, even crossing over from music to film, and more.  She has a swarm of women following her claiming the name “Beyhive”.  They’re quick to swarm on anyone who speaks negatively about her too.  Bey is the mother to her daughter, Blue Ivy.  She is also currently on a worldwide tour.

 

10. Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba is well-known for her movie and commercial roles as well as being the co-founder of the Honest company.  The Honest Company is a company geared towards the needs of baby’s as well as mom personal care.  She is the proud mother of 2 girls.

 

11. Taraji P. Henson

Taraji has had an amazing career in film thus far.  She is well known for so many roles, including her latest role as Cookie Lyons in the hit show “Empire”.  Being a mother clearly has not slowed her career down, as she is an amazing actress.  She was also reported to have stood up for her son and snatched him out of his former college when he was unfairly treated reportedly due to his race, and she then placed him in a college where they felt he would be treated equally.  This mama bear looks great to have a son in college!

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Tia Mowry: “I’m Not Pregnant! I’m Just Happy!”

As women, we go through phases in life where we can lose a few pounds or gain a few pounds depending on our life’s circumstances. In the society we live in, we are judged a great deal by our outside appearance.  If we are in the public eye, that judgment can be exceptionally brutal.

Recently, fans of Tia Mowry have been questioning and assuming that she has a baby on the way. Tia has responded to her fans, and says she is NOT pregnant. Critics are still talking about her weight gain. In light of that, Tia has opened up on the body standards society judges us on, and the body shaming that takes place when you don’t fit society’s standards of beauty.

Tia said “When I want to drop the pounds, I will, but right now I’m happy with who I am.” She also went to social networks to post that she’s happy where she is now. She’s eating and cooking great food.  Of course Tia is referring to her new cooking show where she cooks up some delicious recipes in the kitchen.

Enjoy Tia! We salute you for standing up to the critics and being comfortable in your skin.

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Kelly Rowland Opens Up On Balancing Motherhood And Career

Kelly Rowland, former member of Destiny’s Child, now solo artist has opened up to Ebony magazine in an intimate interview about how she balances motherhood and her career.  Kelly has a 1-year-old son named Titan, is newly married, and is still in the studio recording hits. Just how does she do it? Here are some of the things Kelly had to say about her balancing act:

“My challenges are just really learning the balance of it all for myself, for my husband, for my baby, for my career. Making sure that everything gets the balance,” Kelly tries to ensure her family gets everything they need, but is careful not to neglect herself.  “Because how am I supposed to be filled and I have to pour so much of myself into everything?”

When asked how she finds the balance between Kelly Rowland the Entertainer vs. Kelly Rowland the wife/mother, she says: “I’m still learning it now,” she says. “Because now things are starting to pick up again, so I can only imagine when I have to go overseas and tour and things like that. I want Titan to come with me, but I also don’t want to wear his body out. And I want him to feel what stability feels like since my mom and I moved around a lot when I was a kid.”

Like most mothers, Kelly educated herself as much as she could on motherhood, but still says she wasn’t fully prepared, like all of us. Kelly says “I felt like when I brought Titan home I knew everything, and I didn’t. And it was so wrong because my husband would figure out what would make him calm immediately,”

Kelly gushes that the good parts have been “watching him, watching my husband, watching my marriage and learning so much behind that story alone. My husband is the greatest man on earth, he really is. And he’s the greatest dad. I’m so happy I thought enough of myself to choose a great man.”

Although she’s now a mother, she has hardly taken a backseat in her career.  She’s back in work mode. She landed a reoccurring role on Empire and recently dropped the club banger “Dumb.” While the song has a young party vibe, the lyrics are about being grown and sexy.

For the full interview with Ebony magazine:

Kelly Rowland Interview

Photo courtesy of

Matt Sayles/AP/Invision

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Why I Hated My Postpartum Body

As I got undressed to take a shower, I looked in the mirror at my 4-day postpartum body and my first thought was yuck! I didn’t like the still swollen stomach, and the changes in my body. It was in that train of thought that I asked myself why did I think this body was ugly? Why was it foreign looking to me? I had just pushed a child out 4 days prior after a 34 hour labor. Why wouldn’t my body still bear some resemblance of the trauma it had been put through?  Why would I expect my body to snap back to looking exactly the same when it took a 9 month process to go through all of the stages of change?  I had to ask myself what was I allowing to shape my opinion of how my body looked? Was I comparing myself to these celebrities who show no signs of having just had a baby? Did I have an unrealistic expectation? My resounding answer was yes!

While my husband reassured me that I was still beautiful, and each stretch mark was a reminder that I gave him 3 children, in my head my body still was not beautiful to me. When I realized just how unrealistic I was being, I decided to embrace my postpartum body. After all, my body had gone through a battle to bring forth a new life.  A little person that would amaze me as he goes through each day, just as his sister and brother have.

I looked in the mirror and embraced every part of me. I embraced my face, the sleep deprived eyes and messy hair.  I took care of my babies, pouring everything out of me into them. I embraced my breasts that now sat heavy and full of milk to nourish my new baby, just as I had with my other two. How could I expect them to still look the same? I embraced my still swollen looking stomach that had housed and protected 3 babies until their births. This belly that had kept them close and listening to my heartbeat for 9, actually 10 months. I embraced my hips and thighs that were now swollen and had some extra dimples that weren’t there before, but they’d held up the ever growing weight as I carried these babies. I embraced my swollen legs and feet still showing very clear signs of Edema. I embraced the stretch marks on my stomach, hips, and thighs as reminders of having been blessed to carry 3 children, and not taking it for granted, as some never get the opportunity.

As I embraced every inch and curve of my body, I was reminded that these changes would be continual and ever-changing. If it wasn’t from having a baby, it will be from getting older. I am what a real woman looks like. I am what a mom looks like. I am what a sexy mom looks like. I take care of my body, and I embrace the changes that will continually come. So while the title may be a bit misleading, it was in that brief moment, I hated my postpartum body. Yet in those following moments, I learned to love and embrace it.

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HERstory: Garcelle Beauvais Proclaims “It Takes A Village”

You may know her as “Fancy” from the Jamie Foxx show, but there’s so much more to Garcelle Beauvais than we hear about. I had the pleasure of being able to interview her about being a mom, career woman, activist, and much more.  I must admit I was impressed by the humility of this woman during our conversation. I absolutely loved hearing about the projects that Garcelle has been working on as well as her stories of motherhood.

Nadine: What is your definition of a Sexy Mom?

Garcelle: A Sexy Mom is a woman who takes care of her family, but is also selfless enough that she doesn’t neglect her own self in the process.

Nadine: I know it’s hard to pick one, but what are a few lessons you’ve learned from being a mom?

garcelle-beauvais-300Garcelle: In parenting, patience comes and goes. Sometimes we lose patience, and we need to regroup.  Parenting isn’t always amazing, it isn’t always pretty, but we can take a moment to pull away and get ourselves together again. Another lesson I’ve learned was kids are more resilient than we know.

Nadine: You also have a MomBlog, what made you start blogging?

Garcelle: I felt like I needed a platform to share and build within a community. It takes a village, and I wanted to empower women to come together. Even celebrities struggle with the same issues. I believe in empowering instead of tearing down.

Nadine: You’re an Activist as well, what are some of the causes you fight for? And why?

Garcelle: One of the organizations I work with is called Fonkoze. It’s an organization in Haiti that helps women with microfinancing, financial services, and business skills. I also work with an organization called Step Up Women’s Network, a national non-profit that empowers women and girls to be strong and reach their full potential.

Nadine: With all that you juggle, what do you do to find balance? What are some things you would recommend?

Garcelle: I recenter in a nice bath. People think that baths are only for the evening, and that’s not true. I relax in the bath, listen to music, take time for myself, whether it’s going to the mall and getting one of those 15 minute massages, or reading something inspirational, or even removing myself from the situation. Sometimes that means turning your phone off, or just laying in bed and relaxing.

Nadine: If there was one message you could give to other women, other moms, what would that be?

Garcelle: Don’t be afraid to lean on someone during the tough times.  Reach out to someone for help, even if it’s just to say “hey girl, my kids are driving me nuts, can you watch them while I take a minute for me?”.  Parenting is not a competition.  We need to help one another. The goal is to raise compassionate, kind people.

Nadine: Since your divorce, what can you say you learned from that that you can say “I’m better because”?

Garcelle: I’m better because I put my kids first. I didn’t do any badmouthing of their dad. Co-parenting has made me a better person because I’m strong enough to be able to handle it that way. Before that, anger and hurt didn’t allow me to see the other side. I’ve been able to move through it, and we now celebrate the kids’ birthday parties, and events together.

Nadine: So what projects do you have coming up that we can we look out for?

Garcelle: I’m in a movie called “A Girl Like Grace” (released June 2015), I also have Girlfriends Getaway 2 set to release on August 29, on TVOne.  The latest in the I AM book series is being released, it’s called I AM Awesome.  It’s available for preorder on Amazon.

With all that we hear about celebrities being snobbish, or cold, I can honestly say the impression Garcelle left with me exemplifies the definition of a Sexy Mom who Rocks. She focused on her family, her career, herself, and making a difference in the lives of others.

To preorder the book on Amazon, here is the link: I AM AWESOME

For more information on Fonkoze or Step Up Women’s Network:

http://www.fonkoze.org

http://www.suwn.org

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