10 Things NOT To Say To A Pregnant Woman

I’m now 8 months pregnant, and I can honestly say I’ve heard some of the most ridiculous comments from people during my pregnancy. I’ve heard comments that have gone from uber nosy to downright rude and obnoxious. Having experiences like this help me remember what NOT to say to another pregnant woman. Here are 10 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Feel free to add more if you’d like.

1. Wow, you’re huge!
Right, because it’s not like I look down at myself every day and see a large boulder-sized belly looking back at me, I definitely needed you to point it out to me. Thank you for that!

2. Is it your husband’s/boyfriend’s baby?
Now, this was one of the most idiotic questions I’ve been asked during the pregnancy. If this baby wasn’t from my husband/boyfriend, do you think I’d really share it with you? Thankyouverymuch!

3. Are you sure there’s only 1 baby in there and not 2?
*Facepalm* That is all…

4. In regards to pregnancy, Google says…
Anything Google says, you can pretty much bet that we stopped listening to you once you said “Google said”. Unless Google can replace the care of our Midwives/Doctors, please save your Google facts.

5. Did you get pregnant by accident?
Clearly, if I’m having sex, there’s a possibility of pregnancy, just as there is for anyone having sex. So while the baby may or may not have been planned, you asking that is overstepping your boundaries.

6. Did you want another baby?
So how much money is in your bank account? Not my business right? Exactly! Just say congratulations. The prying, invasive questions are so unnecessary.

7. Are the kids happy about a new baby?
No, they’ve actually staged a protest and are filing injunctions against the new baby as we speak. Seriously? It’s an adjustment for any family. A better question would be to wait until after the baby is born and ask how is everyone adjusting? Is there anything I can do to help?

8. You look like you’re about to drop a load.
I’m sorry, are you referring to taking a massive dump or giving birth to a baby? The phrase drop a load just sounds so abrasive and gross.

9. Can you still have sex while you’re pregnant?
Seriously? Can you still take a shower in the summer? What kind of ridiculous question with no boundaries is that?!

10. You look like you’re about ready to pop!
Again, do I look like a balloon? Please don’t tell a pregnant woman she looks like she’s ready to pop.

Feel free to add any others you can think of. We’d love to hear it!

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High School Senior Pulled Out Of Class For Not Wearing Bra

A senior in high school is up in arms after being asked to wear a bra to school.  Apparently, the imprints of her nipples were protruding through her clothes, and she was pulled out of class and asked to wear “something more appropriate”. Below is the post she shared on Facebook defending her position.  As we know, even the slightest of suggestions from boys who are classmates can wind up with them being arrested for sexual harassment nowadays. While our culture is definitely oversexualized, there has to be some kind of boundary set as well.  For a young woman to very overtly wear no bra, allowing her nipples to protrude, that could definitely be a distraction for other students and possibly even teachers.  I can understand the girl wanting to have the right to wear whatever she may want to, and bras don’t necessarily have to be a requirement to wear, but does this surpass boundaries?  If a male student decided to wear pants with no underwear, allowing his penis print to be seen by all, would we still have the same reaction?  Would we be just as offended?

Here is the post she shared on Facebook.  If this were your daughter, would you support and defend? Or would you agree that it’s too much? We’d love to hear!

“Today at SLHS, something took place in which I was very offended. I was sitting at my computer during class when a security guard walks into my classroom. She walks around the room and then slowly makes her way over to me. She then says to me, ” Can you come outside”. And of course, I do as she says and I go out into the hall to speak with her. She then says to me, ” Honey, you need to wear a shirt.” Clearly, as you can see in the picture, I was wearing a shirt. I look at her and say “Okay.” with a puzzled face. She then proceeds to tell me ” That’s inappropriate *gestures her hands over her own breasts* You’re going to have to put on another shirt.” Since I was at school, I, of course, did not just happen to have another shirt in my backpack, so that is what I tell her. She tells me that I can go to the office and put on one of their shirts. I then remember that I had a jacket in my car, so I asked her if that would be okay for me to wear. She then said something similar to, “Yes, that’s fine. Just know from now on, that’s not appropriate for school.”
In the SLHS “Dress Standards” section of the Handbook, it does not say anywhere that students must wear a bra. The superintendent of the school has now addressed that this was a mistake and I should not have been taken out of class for this. Girls do not have to wear bras to school. I am a senior in high school and should have the right to choose whether or not I please to wear a bra. #FreeTheNipple #FreeTheNip #SLHS #SLisAfraidOfBreasts”

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Mother In Love Or Monster In Law?

Have you seen the movie Monster In Law with Jenifer Lopez and Jane Fonda? Well, that movie was in many cases a gross exaggeration. What happens when it’s not? What happens when your mother in law really is the monster in law? How do you handle it?

A family member of mine as had to deal with her mother in law for over 30 years.  This woman has tried everything to break them up, including accusing the wife of being pregnant with another man’s baby.  Another family member has a mother in law who couldn’t care less about her grand kids, or anything in relation to their lives.  Every situation would be different depending on the people involved.

I can honestly say I’m very grateful to have a wonderful relationship with my mother in law.  She has in the last 10 years become a 2nd mother to me.  That includes fussing me out when I do something wrong, just like my own mother does.  Have you ever been fussed out by two mothers for the same exact thing? yeah, it’s not fun. Lol

So how do you deal with it when you have the monster in law instead of the mother in love?

1) Set boundaries: While this may be easier said than done, it must be done.  You don’t have to do it rudely or aggressively, but it must be done firmly.  Of course there will be some monster in laws who couldn’t care less about boundaries, we’ll get to them.

2) Don’t: Allow your husband to include his mother in your personal affairs, and don’t include your mother in the personal affairs either. When there are hard times in the marriage, the mothers will have a tendency to take the side of their child, naturally. When the rocky times get better, they may hold on to those hard times too and hold it against your spouse.

3) Do: Work on building a relationship with your mother in law.  Remember, she was the first woman in your husband’s life, and it can be hard to step back and allow another woman to become that number 1 in his life now.

4) Remind: Her of boundaries if she is overstepping them.  If she has to be continually reminded, you may have to implement consequences. For example; If you can not respect us in our house, you will not be welcome over anymore.  You have to stand firm in order for those boundaries to be respected.

5) Compromise: Allow your mother in law to play an active role, so long as she can respect you. Often they just want to feel included, and feel like they’ve lost their child when the child gets married off. Allow her to pick a restaurant for lunch sometimes. Or a movie. It’ll help her feel more involved instead of cast to the side.

Do you have a mother in love or a monster in law? What has worked, what hasn’t? We’d love to hear your stories.

 

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