A few months ago, I attended a relationship event where I spoke as part of the panel. One particular question to us was how an available, dating woman can distinguish a boy from a man. One of the brothers on the panel took the lead. He very eloquently explained, in detail, the social, emotional, and spiritual definition of a man and the origin of where we, as a society and culture, went wrong in defining, creating and enabling eternal boys. The brother got deep with it. It was great.
I, as the only woman on the panel, took a different approach. Very simply I said then and believe today, a woman attracts a man. When you are a woman who is about her business, focused on her purpose, and living a full and complete life of family, friends, love, and passion, you can only attract someone who is like-minded. A “boy” will not be willing to keep up with or invest the time and energy into developing a relationship with that type of woman. Boys don’t build and that type of woman is a builder. She is building the life she wants now, the future she wants to come, and as a mom, the legacy she wants to leave her children’s children. They know what they want, have a plan for achieving it, and is putting that plan into practice. A woman will attract a man who is also building and requires a woman who can support a joint effort.
If you are dating and find yourself chasing “boys” who only want to play games, lay-up in your house, or require more of you then they are willing to give themselves, look in the mirror for the source of your problem. The first thing you must do is stop chasing. If you are a sexy mom who is focused on building, you should not have the energy, time, or desire to chase after a grown man. Next, you may need to do some self-reflection. Knowing we sub-consciously attract what we think we deserve, ask yourself why you feel you only deserve someone who is less concerned with you then pleasing themselves.
Do you know who you are? Do you know why you were created? Do you know what your purpose is outside of taking care of your children? Find the answers to the tough questions for yourself. Once you have some answers you will begin to see yourself differently. Your inner value will increase and you will be less willing to put your priceless jewels in a plastic bag. If you have completed the process and consider yourself a whole woman remember, you are an attractive, appealing female and “boys” like shiny things so you will attract some. Do not be discouraged. Because you are a woman they won’t stay. Just, get busy living. The woman you are will attract the man designed for you.