I am a single, well-educated, professional, business-minded woman who loves God. On paper I should be the catch of a lifetime. Yet, for quite a while, I had a difficult time attracting the interest of suitable men. I was completely oblivious to why. The easiest thing to do was to blame the collective male population. Ladies, when you catch yourself saying, “Men always…” or “All men want is…” it is time to stop and look in the mirror. Everyone cannot be to blame when the central common theme is you. The problem was, in the mirror there was a woman and my womanly advice to myself about what men want was not yielding results.
I found if women have honest conversations with men they will openly share what they are looking for, how they feel about certain behaviors, what they need from a woman and what they absolutely do not want in their lives. My conversations started talking about my situation. Quickly I found that men have generalized concerns about the female population like women do about men. Here are just 3 common responses I have heard from mature, professional, single men regarding single women.
When you walk down the aisle of the grocery store and an attractive men walks pass in the opposite direction, you make brief eye contact and you sense interest but there is no conversation or follow through initiated by him. Why? When wondering why men do not speak to you understand men look for an open door. You may be in the store with a purpose to buy that cereal so you grab it and go. Apparently, walking quickly or keeping it moving doesn’t convey interest, eye contact or not. There is no opportunity for someone to express interest. You are about your business. That doesn’t include him.
Whether going to the grocery store quickly or running up the street to pick up the kids from school, shiny things attract attention. In other words, men like to see a woman who is put together. This gives the impression that she cares about and will maintain herself. This doesn’t always mean full make-up and stilettos. Oddly enough, more men expressed liking a natural presence over a face full of foundation and lashes. Dressed up or in sweats, clean, matching clothes that are well fitting and styled hair on a confident woman can be the light bulb in the center of a dark room. We are always taking care of everyone else. Spend some time on yourself.
Single moms have sometimes very strong opinions on how things should be done. We have our reasons but they usually do not matter. We have been doing it like this, it has worked, so we know best especially where our children are concerned. The problem is men do not like to argue. We as women can be more difficult then we need to be. If we are opening ourselves to another we have to open ourselves to their opinions and viewpoints as well. Often it is not that we have an opinion but how we express it. If a man finds it too difficult to be with you, he won’t be with you.
These are just a few things I have heard from men. What have you heard? What do you agree or disagree with. Let’s chat.
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