Marriage night sex, make-up sex, now V-Day sex? Valentine’s Day has become one of the most commercialized “holidays” of our society. It pushes on the masses a one day requirement to express affection through chocolates, teddy bears, cards, and other such gestures. Brain cells fry at the massive work put in to figure out just the right scenario for that special person.
At the end of all the money spending, there is often an expectation that the man’s planning, spending, and effort will result in physical intimacy. There are often great SEXPECTATIONS (CNN.com, 2013). In a survey, nearly 85% of men and women reported sex as an important part of Valentine’s Day, yet only 50% say that they would be disappointed if they don’t “do it” on the 14th. If it is important to most, why aren’t all disappointed without it? The answer is simple. Not everyone is in the right relationship place to believe Valentine’s vajay-jay should be a requirement.
Often, we use intimacy as a tool to fill our own emotional voids and this day can feed into that if you are not careful. Listen, you should not feel any pressure to have sex on Valentine’s Day. In fact, you do not even have to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Any relationship professional will tell you, it is the consistency, every day, month, and year, of showing gratitude and affection to your significant other that is the mark of a healthy relationship. Not the ability to buy a bear and a box of chocolate one day out the year or the ability to reward it with sex.
It is not right for women to feel the pressure of sexual performance any more than it is right for men to feel the pressure of retail performance and buying just the right gift. If someone has expressed a great expectation for sex as the conclusion to this pseudo-holiday, beware. They are setting the tone for the remainder of your relationship.
If you do choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, make it a day that you will both cherish and enjoy. It should spotlight the commitment, love, and growing appreciation you have for each other. When you have jointly focused on the relationship and not the day, the sentiment behind February 14th can be replicated on February 15th, April 23rd, October 12th, and any and every day you share your life together and that can include any and everything you desire. Happy Valentine’s Day