Have you ever been in that place where you learned the love of your life has betrayed your trust, and cheated on you? Have you had the wind knocked out of you with this discovery? Has your relationship crumbled? Or have you had to fight to get past this?
Infidelity is one of those things that can not only destroy an entire relationship, but can also destroy a woman’s sense of self. it will leave a woman asking, “am I enough?”, “Where did I go wrong?”, “What wasn’t I able to give him that he found in her?”. It can leave the woman with trust issues, that she punishes others for for fear of being hurt again.
Can trust ever be restored after such a painful betrayal?
Well, it depends on the situation. Every situation is different. Are you able to forgive, or do you hold on to grudges? Do you need to see that your partner is remorseful? Are you willing to accept this behavior? Are you aware that you deserve better than for this behavior to continue?
There have been many relationships that have been able to heal, and move forward after infidelity. In those cases, the couple had to learn how to be completely honest with each other about everything. They had to learn to work through the anger, the hurt, the betrayal. They had to learn to let go of the past and focus on the future together. In some cases that involves getting professional help. Either way, it requires a great deal of work on both parts if the goal is to restore the relationship.
It requires some painful truths to be shared, boundaries to be set, and patience to deal with each other. There will be days during the healing process where you feel like you hate that significant other for hurting that way. There will be days where you remember why you fell in love in the first place. There will be days where you feel confused, and others where you feel absolutely sure what to do next. Be patient with yourself. The healing process is nothing to rush. In order for you to process through, and be able to mend those wounds and move forward, you have to be able to address those feelings as they arise, no matter how long it may take. It also requires you to not throw the indiscretion in your partner’s face during the heat of an argument. That indicates that while you may say you forgive, you haven’t truly forgiven.
For the times where there is no desire to restore the relationship, or when one of the two are not willing to work to fix the cracks in the foundation, then that relationship may need to become a thing of the past. Something to remember is not to make others pay for the faults of someone in your past. More relationships are ruined because someone makes their current significant other pay for the mistakes of a past lover. Above all, if you decided to let go of the relationship, it’s more than likely because you deserve more than what is being offered. There is nothing wrong with that. However, you also have to remember to forgive, even if that ex never shows any sign of remorse.
Cheating is a choice. No one accidentally cheats on their significant other. However, people are people, and sometimes we make poor choices. Whether you choose to stay or leave after finding out a significant other cheated, be confident in your decision, and don’t allow family or friends to make the decision for you. After all, you’re the only person who has to live with the consequences.
I would love to hear your thoughts on our poll. Let me know; Is trust after infidelity possible?