Is A Wife’s Ability To Submit Dependent On Her Husband’s Ability To Lead?

I had a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and as we were discussing the role of a wife and the role of a husband, we found that there was a common thread in our conversation.  Among what we discussed was what the different churches teach women as far as submission to their husband is concerned.  I have heard sermons where it was taught that no matter what the husband is doing, you need to be in a state of submission.  I have also heard that you should be in submission to your husband as long as your husband is in submission to God.

Now, I am of the school of the latter.  Seeing as how some of my spiritual beliefs are evolving, so are my outlooks on things of this nature.  I believe that a wife’s ability to submit to her husband and allow him to lead is completely dependent on the husband’s ability to lead her and the household.  I don’t believe that a wife should be in a state of submission to her husband if he is in a state of disarray.  How can she follow him if he is leading them off of a cliff?  In my opinion, it is at that point that the wife needs to tune her ear to God and follow where God is leading them.  Coddling the ego of a man who can’t, or won’t lead will cause nothing but heartache and misery for the wife and the family if there are children involved.

It is also necessary to mention that what makes a man the leader of his home is not simply the fact that he is a man and has a penis.  Leading the home is bearing the responsibilities needed to keep the household safe and secure, being able to guide the family for what’s best for the situation vs. what’s best for the ego, etc.  There is so much more that comes with being the leader of the home.  Now the wife has her own set of responsibilities as well, but the topic of conversation is whether a wife’s ability to submit is dependent on her husband’s ability to lead?

So I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter, as always respectful dialogue is always welcome!

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