I’m Married; Should I Still Get Tested?

In this day and age, we know that HIV and AIDS has become a rampant disease.  The most tragic part is that this disease is preventable.  People are dying daily, and getting newly diagnosed on a daily basis…and it doesn’t have to be this way.  While there are many stories where people were infected and it was not due to their own choices, those stories are not the majority.

As a kid, I loved my grandfather.  We called him “grandpa candy”, and “grandpa money” when he came over. Unfortunately he died of AIDS in the 80’s.  That was a time where they were just learning about AIDS.  His wife, my grandmother, also tested positive for HIV.

It would be years before she died from the disease as well. It was a very heartbreaking thing to watch when you have to watch a loved one die, especially when it was through no fault of their own. His poor choices led to his demise, and I’m sure it wasn’t his intent.  He loved his wife.

That was the best lesson on safe sex that I could have learned.  That is not to say that I have never made any poor choices.  However, I learned from them, and I knew better.  Before I married my husband, I was mature enough, and confident enough in myself to feel comfortable telling him I wanted us to take an HIV test.  I was in the military and was tested yearly, so I knew my status.  For me, it would be irresponsible to go into a marriage willingly deciding to not know his.  He responded very well, and agreed to the testing with no problem. We went together, and were both cleared.

Since then, every year when I go for my physical, I still get the HIV testing done.  Does it mean I don’t trust my husband? Absolutely not.  I trust him.  However, I would be a fool to think that he can never be capable of making a poor choice and sleeping with another.  I believe he is capable of the very same thing I am capable of.  We choose not to betray our marriage, and each other.  When my husband goes for his physical, I encourage him to take an HIV test as well.  For me, it’s peace of mind for both of us.  People may disagree, and that’s okay.  It works for us.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  Should married couples get HIV tests done? Does it indicate a lack of trust between the couple?  Let us hear your voice on this. We’d love to know.

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