I found one definition of LOVE which said, “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.” I have encountered many single moms (and women) who have expressed a serious desire to have someone they could have that strong affection for. They want someone to love and someone to love them, romantically. To be transparent, I have had my moments, as a single woman, where I have ended a day full of highs and lows and come home to an empty house. There was no one to share my thoughts, celebrate my successes, or who could rub my calves and help me decompress. There was no one whose problems I could help solve or who I could make feel like the superhero of his household. I, too, wanted someone to love and someone to love me. Then I realized I have all of that. I have me.
No, it is not the same. I already hear you. But consider this, you cannot demand someone fill your own personal void particularly when it is a void you are not willing to fill yourself. If you enjoy a specific restaurant you should go. If you want to travel to a certain destination, fun is waiting for so go. Is the problem that you do not like spending time with you? Are you not interesting to yourself? Does someone have to take you for you to believe you are deserving of the indulgence? If you answered yes at any, that is a problem.
It sounds like a cliché’ but…LOVE YOURSELF. We live as mirrors, reflecting our feelings, our values and our beliefs. This is especially true with what we believe about our self. If you do not find yourself lovable and desirable enough to do the things you want another to do for you or even that you want to do for someone else, how can another feel that way for you? It is true the person that loves to have fun attracts fun people and opportunities. The one who is kind and caring attracts situations where their kindness is needed and also rewarded. And yes, the woman who is not whole as she is attracts others who are deficient as well. Love yourself. Show you that you love yourself daily. Tell yourself you love yourself daily. Set the standard for the one who will come.