Cheating: Is It A Choice Or A Mistake?

You know that woman who has forgiven her man for cheating…multiple times? Women stand in judgement of her decision to stay while she defends his actions and calls them mistakes.
While I can’t say I’ve ever been in that position, I hope I never have to be. I have never been in a serious relationship where he was cheating…well, to my knowledge. For the guys who may have cheated, and I didn’t realize, they really weren’t important enough to me. If I suspected something, and I wasn’t attached, I easily let them go.
I was asked in the past, if my husband cheated, would I forgive him? I can honestly say, I don’t know. There are so many factors that go into it. However, what I can be sure of is if he did cheat, it would be a choice, and a mistake.
We can make poor choices and call them mistakes. With the exception of very few cases, every case of cheating is a choice. Whether it be the choices you make that lead up to it, or the choice one makes not to leave when the opportunity presents itself to them. I don’t care how hot and bothered you may be, you have the choice to continue with your actions. I truly believe that the choices we make lead us into different situations. The choices we make in those situations lead us to the consequences we have to face.
We know when the conversations we are entertaining are inappropriate. We know when we have to start hiding things from our significant other, we are headed down the wrong road.
Tina, from the group Mary Mary is one of the few women who has gone publicly to say that her husband cheated, and they are working on staying together and moving forward in their marriage. The next thing she did outraged many women, when she said she played a role in the marital discord. Here is a clip of the interview:

While many women slammed her, I completely agree. We have to be willing to accept responsibility for what our roles may be in pushing that spouse away. Sometimes it’s just the significant other. We can try our best to meet all of their needs, and they’ll still cheat. Most times it’s a need they feel is not being fulfilled, and they decide to seek it out. This goes for both the men and the women.
So while we may be the source of some of the relationship issues, cheating is still a choice each person makes, despite whatever issues are within the relationship. It is up to each couple to work to fix those issues, but when you turn outside of your relationship, seeking what you should find only within, you in essence give up on building up that relationship. It all goes back to the choices we make. Cheating is a choice. While it may be called a mistake afterward, it was and is still a choice.

What do you think? Is cheating a choice or an accidental mistake? We’d love to hear from you!



About the Author

Nadine Smiley is a Writer, Author, Speaker, and Consultant. She is a Les Brown trained Speaker and is part of The Les Brown Maximum Achievement Team. She speaks on a variety of topics to include living your purpose, Entrepreneurship, balancing business and family, holistic wellness, etc.

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