Mother’s day is a day to celebrate the wonderful mothers in our lives whether it be through birth, mentoring, or just taking a motherly position in someone’s life. It’s also a day of tears and grief for many who will go through this day sorely missing their mother, or the maternal figure in their lives.
So what do you do when Mother’s day comes around and you don’t have your mom to share it with?
Here are a few suggestions for getting through Mother’s day without your mom:
1) Do something to honor her memory: Whether it be planting a flower, or going to your mother’s favorite restaurant, visiting the grave site, etc. One of the things my family does on Mother’s day is meet for lunch at my grandmother’s favorite restaurant. We reminisce on the moments with her, and catch up on each other’s lives.
2) Do something to treat yourself: Are you allowed to feel sad? Of course! Are you allowed to cry? Absolutely! Feel what you need to feel, but don’t stay stuck in that space where it then becomes neglectful of you. Go to a spa for a massage, get your nails done, take yourself out to do something you enjoy. Take a moment to pamper yourself even if you’re not a mother. Do it for your own peace of mind.
3) Connect with others: While losing your mom is devastating, know you are not alone. Make sure you stay present and communicate with friends and/or family who care for you, and want to be there for you. Don’t feel like you’re a burden. That’s your ego talking. You’re not a burden to loved ones. If you feel you want to connect with others who may understand, then it’s a good idea to connect with support groups for those who have also lost their mothers. You’ll definitely realize you’re not alone and there are others who feel like you do.
4) Go through old photos and videos: Go through those photos you’ve been avoiding. Not to depress or sadden you, but to reminisce on those memories. You’d be surprised at how many smiles will cross your face as you remember the many memories made.
5) Write a letter/pray: Yes, I know it sounds corny and cliche, but it’s cliche because it works. Buy a card too if it helps. Write a letter to your mom telling her all about how much you miss her, and let out your thoughts and feelings. This is a therapeutic way to get those feelings out. If you are spiritual, prayer helps a lot as well. You can talk to God and say anything and everything that’s on your heart without any fear of judgment, or without feeling like someone won’t understand.
While the pain of losing a mother won’t ever fully go away, it does become easier to cope with after awhile. You are strong enough! You will get through this! Reach out for help when you need to.