Dating Your Husband

You start dating, and sparks fly.  Time passes, and you get married.  then the kids come.  Before you know it, things have become dull and mundane.  All of your lives revolve around schedules and school work.  You begin to wonder, what happened to the sparks?

The beginning of relationships are always fun, and often feel like you’re caught up in a whirlwind…and you love it!  Then the fire fades, and life continues.  You find yourself wondering where the spark from the beginning of the relationship went?  Well, you can revive it.

Dating in a marriage, especially with kids, is just as important as it was when you were getting to know each other in the beginning.  There are couples I know that never go on dates together.  I don’t understand how they could continue in a healthy relationship without ever going out and spending that one on one time with each other outside of the home.  Now I know there are some circumstances that dictate things be done that way, but those are few and far between.

I’ve been with my husband for ten years now, and I have learned to appreciate our one on one time together, even if we’re not actually talking to each other.  We can go see a movie together, and enjoy just being grown ups.  There are no interruptions to ask for juice, or water.  No one saying “stop looking at me! Moooooommmm, s/he is looking at me!”

Time will pass, and the children will grow up.  When that time comes, they will continue on with their own lives.  Believe it or not, you and your husband will change as well.  If you don’t change and grow together, when the kids leave, you’re faced with two strangers living together in the same house that know who they fell in love with, but don’t know who they’re with now.

That’s a pretty sad situation to see people together for decades, and then when they’re faced with the reality of the relationship, they separate.  It’s because they didn’t take the time to spend that one on one time together, learning, and growing.  I can tell you right now, my husband is not the same man that I married.  As well as I’m not the same woman he married.

Changes WILL happen.  It takes work to stay in sync with each other when you both are ever evolving.  Date nights allow you the opportunity to have uninterrupted time with your husband, and helps with the intimacy factor.  Time is one way to show you love and care for someone, and is probably one of the most important.  So don’t sacrifice that date night.  Keep the fire burning!

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Confidence is Sexy

A sexy mom may not necessarily be what the world defines as the most physically. After stretching stomachs and popping out babies, not everyone can have the perfect waist and just the right amount of curves in exactly the right places. Not every mom has the physical qualities that fix every eye on them as they walk across the room. But despite having an hour-glass or pear shape, having luscious hair or split ends, with your face beat or just with lotion, CONFIDENCE is what is sexy to a man.

To my fellow single, sexy moms; confidence gets you noticed and holds attention. It is something about having our own inner security and assurance that is attractive to men. We, as single women, know this to be true.  After all, a confident man walking tall and strong into a room becomes an immediate candidate for dating consideration. It is hard to find a confident man that is not also a great provider and protector. These are qualities that are very attractive to us. Likewise, it is to him.

While we know confidence is attractive, we as women (separate from the role of mom) often wilt into a needy and insecure posture in our social relationships with the opposite sex. Perhaps it is because we have forgotten how to be inviting. Perhaps we fear  that showing our strength will run a man away. Maybe the truth is we truly are insecure. Whatever the cause, let me remind you that you are succeeding at the most challenging job you will ever have. You are a mom. Get your confidence back and walk tall.

Check out this LOVE LETTER TO CONFIDENT WOMEN. Hear it from his heart.

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Time to Make Your List

I am someone that, on any given day, has a lot going on at one time. I have finally learned that it is not the best way to proceed. The consequence to being overly committed and passionate about multiple endeavors is often that the things your true, authentic self wants to accomplish or get out of life, become unattainable and go unfulfilled.

Frustrated and stuck, I vented to a friend about not seeing the results I wanted in my personal, romantic, and professional life. The first thing he suggested was to get a journal. Now, I have journals all over the place full of thoughts, feelings, business ideas, fragments of books, etc. Never had I dedicated a journal to designing the life I wanted. Now, I was giving myself permission to think about just me.

My friend suggested developing a 50×50 list. This would be a list of 50 things I wanted to do for me by the time I was 50 years old. I thought, ‘that’s no problem’ and began jotting down things off the top of my head. Take my daughter here. Buy my daughter this. Go on vacation with my daughter to… “STOP,” he yelled. “This cannot involve anyone else. Everything is solely focused on you.” Huh? That was a completely foreign concept to me and made my task ten times harder. As a single parent, my daughter is my life. My careers in education and entertainment have always been about helping others succeed or keeping them inspired. How in the world do I come up with 50 things completely dedicated to me, my desires, my aspirations, and my goals?

I struggled and to this day have only a third of my list complete. “It’s ok,” he later assured me. “It takes times.” He further instructed me that as things come up, put it on the list. This will show that I am opening myself to the experience and allowing the law of attraction to do its thing. As opportunities present themselves, I must take advantage of them. Go on that trip. Visit that place. Meet that person. Train myself to think of myself in addition to others before time, desire, and ability get away from me. I suggest you develop your own list. Pick the next decade you face and set that as the number of things you want to experience or accomplish before that age. If something goes undone, put it on the list for the next decade and continue to press. Its not a Bucket List or a Before I Die List. It is a way to remind yourself that you, too, are important. Get busy living your life…now.

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