Women’s Empowerment Hits The Golden Globes: Oprah Winfrey’s Life-Changing Speech

Oprah Winfrey brought the house down with her life-changing Golden Globes speech. Oprah is best known as a Media Mogul ranging from the OWN Network to the Oprah show, advertising and commercials, producing, acting in movies, and so much more. She is by far a multitalented woman who succeeds at what she puts her hands to. When she walked on stage to receive her award, the speech she gave was epic, including her support for the Me Too movement, standing against sexual harassment, sharing the story of Recy Taylor, and embracing the power of women.  She left many people wondering if this was her way of putting her hat in for the 2020 Presidential race. Will we be seeing Oprah for President in 2020? Would you vote for Oprah if she runs?

Here is the video of her speech:

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Gabrielle Union Speaks Out On Her Struggle With Infertility

Gabrielle Union is an A-list Hollywood celebrity who has starred in numerous movies and tv shows, most recently the series Being Mary Jane. She is also wife of basketball star Dwayne Wade. Gabrielle Union recently released a new book entitled “We’re going to need more wine” in which she opens up about some personal struggles she’s faced throughout her lifetime including her heartbreaking struggle with infertility and IVF treatments.

“I have had eight or nine miscarriages,” Union, 44, writes in the book. “For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.” Even through this heartbreak, her and her husband have not given up hope, and “remain bursting with love and ready to do anything to meet the child we’ve both dreamed of.”

While Union says she never wanted children until she got married to her husband and became stepmom to his sons from previous relationships. Now she states she wants nothing more than to be with the children she is helping to raise.
While she wasn’t always as open about her struggle with infertility as she is currently, she voiced the frustration in hearing questions from well-meaning family and friends asking when she was going to have a baby.

“For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?’” she says. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.”

With infertility struggles on the rise, that may just make us stop and think before we ask someone else that again. I know I have personally struggled with infertility myself, having 5 or 6 miscarriages. I was blessed with 3 healthy children, but I definitely understand the heartbreak behind each miscarriage.

Union says “Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she says. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”

She shares her story in the hopes that the public will take a closer look at the struggle of infertility and learn to approach the topic better. Gabrielle Union, we hope you’re able to receive all the desires of your heart. You truly embody a Sexy Mom who Rocks!

Pick up your copy of her new book “We’re going to need more wine” anywhere books are sold.

Image Source: Zimbio

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Are Celebrities Held To Different Child/Spousal Support Expectations?

A story that has circulated social media recently has been the homelessness of Carmen Bryan, mother of superstar Nas’ daughter.  Since his daughter has turned 18 and child support has stopped, it is now being reported that Carmen is homeless and couch surfing due to mismanagement of money.  After writing a tell-all book exposing Nas and many aspects of their relationship, many feel he should overlook that and help her.  Others feel he should leave it alone and let her get on her own feet.

Here’s the thing, if it were any other person who was paying child or spousal support, would we expect them to fly in like a superhero and save an ex spouse whom they haven’t been with in years due to their mismanagement of funds? If the answer is no, why do people expect it from a celebrity?  Is it expected of him just because he has it?

What are your thoughts? We’d love to hear it!

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Pushing Past The Pain: How To Heal From Heartbreak

As much as we may want to plan out our lives, and even prepare ourselves for what life has for us, the truth is we can’t. No matter how much of a planner you are, life will throw something your way that will knock you to your knees, and send you reeling. I’ve been there myself quite a few times.  Heartbreak has a way of finding us throughout our lives.

Last year I found myself in one of those times. I was pregnant, and in my second trimester and miscarried. Not only did I have to still deliver the baby at home after a dose of Cytotec, but apparently my follow up dr missed the fact that I didn’t deliver everything. I was at work one day and felt what I could only describe as contractions. I made my way to the hospital just in time to start hemorrhaging. I lost over a pint of blood that day. I ended up needing multiple blood transfusions, and emergency surgery. Cancer cells were found in my blood due to this, and I had blood work to do every week for the following few months. This is did not even factor in the emotional toll that it took on me.

As moms, we find ourselves in places where we are truly are in need emotionally, but we put it on the back burner to tend to everyone else’s needs. I developed anxiety attacks, and to an extent went through a depression behind this. I knew my family was still healing from almost losing me physically, I couldn’t afford to put them through losing me emotionally.

I decided to take care of me, and started therapy to get the help I needed. Now I know therapy is so stigmatized that people run from it instead of to it. However, this therapist made a world of a difference with me. While she challenged me, she also helped me get to the root of what I was going through. Much of it was fear I had allowed to develop. Irrational fear at that.

After a few months with the therapist, the anxiety attacks stopped. I was able to sleep again, and function normally. In our cultures we look at therapy and mental health with this stigma like someone isn’t strong enough, or there’s something wrong with them if they seek out help for their mental health. Why then are we surprised when they snap and shoot up schools and movie theaters? This could be avoided by getting people (including ourselves) the help that’s needed. We owe it to ourselves and to our families to be able to perform at our best quality, otherwise we are cheating ourselves and our families out of our lives.

Another thing that helped tremendously was having friends and family that I could be transparent with, and talk and vent to. They could not be my therapist, but they could be my friend. There is a distinction between the two.

I have no shame when I say I was in therapy and it helped me get back to the best me that I could. Did I feel like my world shattered? No doubt. The first step in getting back to me was acknowledging that I needed help, and making myself go get it. Acknowledging with no action means nothing. Was it always pleasant? Not at all. Was it needed? Yes indeed!

Heart break will happen. How we deal with it is what makes the difference in not only our lives, but in the lives of our family. It’s never too late to start healing from heart break. Sexy moms strive to function at the best quality of life that they can. You’re needed. You make a difference!

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Why I Won’t Encourage My Kids To Marry Young

Fairy Tales have been ingrained in us so much so, that you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t know of them.  From the time we are young girls we’re shown fairy tales of the “damsel” finding her “prince charming”, and getting married and living happily ever after. Well, fairy tales got it wrong!  This is why I won’t encourage my kids to marry young:

Nowhere in that fairy tale does it give the princess the opportunity to even learn who she is as a person.  Marriage in itself takes hard work.  Never mind adding the challenges that come with getting married early while both partners are still growing, changing, and developing.  Don’t get it twisted, couples who marry young can still be happy and work out.  I know of quite a few.  I also know that when I got married young, I hadn’t had the chance to really grow into my own person just yet.  I hadn’t had the opportunity to learn who I truly was.  Neither of us did.

So you get married young and everything is all well and good right?

Well here’s the thing; most times children follow shortly after.  Of course, this is not every marriage, so please note that I’m speaking in a general sense.  If it doesn’t apply to you, great!  Now, when the children come along, your focus must primarily be in caring for them.  Their needs are entirely dependent on you.  For many, this allows you to overlook your own needs, focusing on the family instead.

Years can pass by and you find yourself changing and evolving.  After all, we are human, we’re not meant to stay the same.  If you don’t evolve and change, you have a bigger problem than anything being discussed here.  So you find yourself changing and evolving and now you come to the realization that your spouse has also been growing and changing as well, and now you have to figure out whether you both are on the same trajectory.  Are you both still changing together? Or is there a major distance that has developed?

Nothing is ever hopeless until one or both decide they give up and are not willing to try anymore.  For a healthy marriage, many conversations have to take place.  You will constantly be learning your partner because they are constantly changing.  They are not who they were five years ago, or even one year ago.  The same with you.  So allowing your partner the grace to grow, while growing with them is the ideal situation.  Often when people are married early, they haven’t yet developed the maturity for this and instead it turns into arguing and resentment, which can fester and grow and destroy a marriage if left unchecked.

I won’t be encouraging my children to get married early because I need them to see that they must be whole first, and have an understanding of who they are as a person before they can truly understand these same things about their partner.  I want my kids to be able to be equipped with the maturity level and the communication skills that are needed to allow their partner and themselves the grace to grow and change.  I want my children to have the time to focus solely on themselves and allow for their own accomplishments before their attention needs to be divided for the family.  Many women lose focus of themselves, thus becoming the identity of mom and wife, and forget that they had dreams and goals and desires before that.  Not that it can’t be done, but with a family, the challenges and demands are higher.  I can definitely speak from my own personal experience on this one.  I would like for my children to only have to be married once.  They’ll know when the time is right for them, but I won’t be the one to encourage them to get married young.  I’ll encourage them to get married when they’re ready and mature enough.

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Insight from a Sex Trafficking Victim

SexyMom, Denise Hill, is an adult basic skills (GED) educator. She has found that most of her students have powerful stories behind what paused their education and lives until adulthood. In a conversation with one student, she learned that the recent news headlines about missing girls from DC were closer than she could imagine. Her student begins to share a story of her years as a sex slave. She had some interesting comments on the missing girls that were gaining national attention, and some advice about the little things women could do to increase their safety. She consented to tell her story on camera so others could be helped. We strongly suggest you watch this video about her experience as a survivor of sex trafficking with your daughters and have a conversation about what they need to know to stay safe.

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Flaws And All…

My daughter and I were having a conversation last night. I told her no one is perfect.  We all have flaws, but we must be willing to work on those flaws when they affect others. She thought about my statement for a moment and then asked what flaws did I have?  I had no problem being blatantly honest with her, as I of course, would expect her to be totally honest with me.

I told her I can be sarcastic and very stubborn. I can be sensitive, but I very rarely show how sensitive I am. I can be a little callous sometimes or insensitive if I think a situation is not worth my attention. I have trouble asking for help. I spent too much time caring what others thought/felt that I made life decisions behind it. Those are all flaws I’m aware of, and I try to consciously make an effort to work on them, or rectify situations where I may have made a mistake and offended or hurt.

What this allowed her to do was to start reflecting on herself and where she could do better.  I strive to teach my kids that they are truly perfect, but one thing this life is about is always striving to become a better person, and person who can help make a difference in the lives of many.  Sometimes this means we have to unlearn some things or some ways we have previously learned, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

So now I ask you, what are your flaws? How are you working on them?

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Stop Waiting!

Two women began their journey to become successful fashion entrepreneurs at the same time, attending the same university, networking in the same circles, and having access to the same resources. After graduation one sent resumes to various clothing and fashion corporations seeking employment. She mailed, e-mailed, and faxed then waited for a response. The other also sent resumes seeking employment but did not solely wait for a response. While waiting she also designed, cut, and sewed together original fashions that she then took to local boutique in an effort to get them on the rack and noticed by consumers. What she did not sell to boutiques she promoted on social media and sold online and out the trunk of her car. She went to the local office supply store and purchased paper for letterhead and business cards. She did what she could with what she had to get where she wanted to go while waiting for her resume to be noticed. Soon her finances looked up. Her fashions were seen all over town and abroad. Her name became known among the up-and-coming in the fashion world and she received more responses then she ever imagined. Eventually, the first woman was able to get an entry level job with a clothing company and progress but never saw the success of her former college classmate.

GET THIS!  Standing still gets you nowhere.  Really, what are you waiting for? We have been programmed to believe we have to do what we can to get a job. We work very hard to fulfill someone else’s dream. The person who owns the company you work for has fulfilled his or her dream of being a successful entrepreneur, why can’t you. The person who does your hair is living their dream of owning a salon, why can’t you. The person who educates your children is succeeding in walking in their purpose of educating and empowering others, why don’t you.

Everyday you should be doing something to get you closer to achieving your purpose and fulfilling your dreams. That doesn’t always look like business ownership for everyone; no doubt.  It is about living your dream and doing the one thing you were created to do. That is your purpose. While you are waiting for something to happen, looking for a sign, or waiting for the right time – do something. Order some business cards with the title you want, not the one you have. Register your business name so the possibilities become real to you. Trust and invest in yourself. Walk in your success before you can see it. If you do not do something and move forward, you are guaranteed one thing – NOT to reach your goal.

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Every Day, One Thing

Sexy moms are often busy moms. We are public transportation shuttling our children and their friends from activity to activity, chefs able to create full buffets on a budget of leftovers and air, and even medical personnel taking care of wounds and wiping noses. It is easy to look up and years have passed without accomplishing our personal goals or aspirations. That book goes unwritten. Fitness goals go unmet. Businesses go unopened.

There are 24 hours in a day. There are 365 of those days in a year and every four years (leap year) we get an extra day to help make things happen. If we took an honest look at how we spend our day we would have to admit there is more than enough time to put toward living our personal passion and achieving our goals.

I am one of those fanatics that believe doing is more important than sleeping. Each day I am learning more how to find balance. Until I reach that sweet spot in life I am going to work as hard (if not harder) for my dreams as I am willing to working a job that fulfills someone else’s dream.  I do not expect everyone to think exactly like me but you must be willing to do something –just one thing – everyday toward your goal.Whether you print out business license apps today then complete them tomorrow, write one page of your book a day, or finish one section of your business plan each day, if you make the time to do one thing each and every day toward completing your goal your efforts will yield success.

Hockey star, Wayne Gretzky, said it best when he said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” If you do nothing, you are guaranteed to have no results. Start the ball rolling. If you started and life took over so you stopped, then start again. Schedule the time through an alert on your phone. Wake up 15 minutes early or go to bed 15 minutes late. Do what you need to do. Make time for you to do one thing every day. Invest in one of the most important women in the world – You.

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Women Attract Men

A few months ago, I attended a relationship event where I spoke as part of the panel. One particular question to us was how an available, dating woman can distinguish a boy from a man. One of the brothers on the panel took the lead. He very eloquently explained, in detail, the social, emotional, and spiritual definition of a man and the origin of where we, as a society and culture, went wrong in defining, creating and enabling eternal boys. The brother got deep with it. It was great.

I, as the only woman on the panel, took a different approach. Very simply I said then and believe today, a woman attracts a man. When you are a woman who is about her business, focused on her purpose, and living a full and complete life of family, friends, love, and passion, you can only attract someone who is like-minded. A “boy” will not be willing to keep up with or invest the time and energy into developing a relationship with that type of woman. Boys don’t build and that type of woman is a builder. She is building the life she wants now, the future she wants to come, and as a mom, the legacy she wants to leave her children’s children. They know what they want, have a plan for achieving it, and is putting that plan into practice. A woman will attract a man who is also building and requires a woman who can support a joint effort.

If you are dating and find yourself chasing “boys” who only want to play games, lay-up in your house, or require more of you then they are willing to give themselves, look in the mirror for the source of your problem. The first thing you must do is stop chasing. If you are a sexy mom who is focused on building, you should not have the energy, time, or desire to chase after a grown man. Next, you may need to do some self-reflection. Knowing we sub-consciously attract what we think we deserve, ask yourself why you feel you only deserve someone who is less concerned with you then pleasing themselves.

Do you know who you are? Do you know why you were created? Do you know what your purpose is outside of taking care of your children? Find the answers to the tough questions for yourself. Once you have some answers you will begin to see yourself differently. Your inner value will increase and you will be less willing to put your priceless jewels in a plastic bag. If you have completed the process and consider yourself a whole woman remember, you are an attractive, appealing female and “boys” like shiny things so you will attract some. Do not be discouraged. Because you are a woman they won’t stay. Just, get busy living. The woman you are will attract the man designed for you.

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