Stop Waiting!

Two women began their journey to become successful fashion entrepreneurs at the same time, attending the same university, networking in the same circles, and having access to the same resources. After graduation one sent resumes to various clothing and fashion corporations seeking employment. She mailed, e-mailed, and faxed then waited for a response. The other also sent resumes seeking employment but did not solely wait for a response. While waiting she also designed, cut, and sewed together original fashions that she then took to local boutique in an effort to get them on the rack and noticed by consumers. What she did not sell to boutiques she promoted on social media and sold online and out the trunk of her car. She went to the local office supply store and purchased paper for letterhead and business cards. She did what she could with what she had to get where she wanted to go while waiting for her resume to be noticed. Soon her finances looked up. Her fashions were seen all over town and abroad. Her name became known among the up-and-coming in the fashion world and she received more responses then she ever imagined. Eventually, the first woman was able to get an entry level job with a clothing company and progress but never saw the success of her former college classmate.

GET THIS!  Standing still gets you nowhere.  Really, what are you waiting for? We have been programmed to believe we have to do what we can to get a job. We work very hard to fulfill someone else’s dream. The person who owns the company you work for has fulfilled his or her dream of being a successful entrepreneur, why can’t you. The person who does your hair is living their dream of owning a salon, why can’t you. The person who educates your children is succeeding in walking in their purpose of educating and empowering others, why don’t you.

Everyday you should be doing something to get you closer to achieving your purpose and fulfilling your dreams. That doesn’t always look like business ownership for everyone; no doubt.  It is about living your dream and doing the one thing you were created to do. That is your purpose. While you are waiting for something to happen, looking for a sign, or waiting for the right time – do something. Order some business cards with the title you want, not the one you have. Register your business name so the possibilities become real to you. Trust and invest in yourself. Walk in your success before you can see it. If you do not do something and move forward, you are guaranteed one thing – NOT to reach your goal.

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Every Day, One Thing

Sexy moms are often busy moms. We are public transportation shuttling our children and their friends from activity to activity, chefs able to create full buffets on a budget of leftovers and air, and even medical personnel taking care of wounds and wiping noses. It is easy to look up and years have passed without accomplishing our personal goals or aspirations. That book goes unwritten. Fitness goals go unmet. Businesses go unopened.

There are 24 hours in a day. There are 365 of those days in a year and every four years (leap year) we get an extra day to help make things happen. If we took an honest look at how we spend our day we would have to admit there is more than enough time to put toward living our personal passion and achieving our goals.

I am one of those fanatics that believe doing is more important than sleeping. Each day I am learning more how to find balance. Until I reach that sweet spot in life I am going to work as hard (if not harder) for my dreams as I am willing to working a job that fulfills someone else’s dream.  I do not expect everyone to think exactly like me but you must be willing to do something –just one thing – everyday toward your goal.Whether you print out business license apps today then complete them tomorrow, write one page of your book a day, or finish one section of your business plan each day, if you make the time to do one thing each and every day toward completing your goal your efforts will yield success.

Hockey star, Wayne Gretzky, said it best when he said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” If you do nothing, you are guaranteed to have no results. Start the ball rolling. If you started and life took over so you stopped, then start again. Schedule the time through an alert on your phone. Wake up 15 minutes early or go to bed 15 minutes late. Do what you need to do. Make time for you to do one thing every day. Invest in one of the most important women in the world – You.

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Achieve Your Goals When He Says No

Every time you make your famous sweet potato pies, everyone tells you how much you could make if you sold them. Or whenever there is an event everyone wants you to organize it. You’ve always had a thing for creating and once thought to be an Event Planner. Or perhaps you want to try your hand at singing professionally but have always believed you missed your opportunity. Yet, one day you wake and make the decision you are going to give it a try. You really want to do that thing you are so good at, everyone is always raving about, and that you secretly dream about doing for a living. The only problem is he does not support you.

Making the decision to become an entrepreneur is not easy and not to be taken lightly. It can be a difficult road filled with highs and lows that are of your own design as you learn and navigate the world of self-sufficiency. But it is also, arguably, the most rewarding way to live life. You are providing for your family while doing the thing that feeds your soul every single day. You get to do what you love and people pay you for it. The feeling of freedom and empowerment is unmatched. Getting beyond our own insecurities and doubts is the first step and one of the most challenging. So many never make the decision, even part time. So, with you out the way, how do you get past a husband or significant other that says, “You can’t do it” or “You don’t have the time,” or my favorite, “Me and the kids need you.”

Hey sis….can I tell you something? You need You too. I am not suggesting you drop everything and run off to live your dreams. That would be irresponsible. What I am saying is no one, NO ONE, should be able to inject toxins into your goals, dreams, or aspirations; especially the ones who profess to love you. Just as you should support him, he should support you. Support is a component of a healthy, adult relationship and vital to your business success. There is also communication, organization, and patience.

To achieve your dreams and preserve your relationship there must be open, honest, and consistent communication not just between you and your man, but within the entire family. The kids must have a concept of goals, working hard, and creating a legacy for them to put in perspective why you are not as accessible as you once were. It should never be a breakdown conversation where they are in tears because you missed their soccer game again and you just say you had to work. Teamwork will make the dream work. Together you all work to ensure everyone reaches their optimal level of personal, academic, and professional success. Talking about those goals, expectations, and, of course, schedules will help that especially with a reluctant significant other.

Children have their own schedules which become our schedules. That is one reason why our desires were placed on the back burner in the first place. But there are 24-hours in a day. I know, sometimes it does not feel like enough time but it is really a matter of organizing the time you have to be productive. When they are babies we are taught to sleep when they sleep…but maybe not every time. You can use one or two of those nap times to work on your business plan or respond to potential clients or plan for the future. They will not take 2-hour naps forever. They grow and become less dependent on you and less demanding of your time. You should not wait until then to get started. Go for it. If your children are already older, you may need to sacrifice some of your grown folks social time. Which ever case, scheduling wisely, multi-tasking, and using technology to assist with both will benefit you. If you can show through organization it is all possible with minimal disruption to the household, you are less likely to have issues with a resistant partner.

On the long journey of entrepreneurship, you must pack your patience. You will need to be patient with everyone and everything; including yourself. It will not happen overnight. You already have a lot going on so just trust your planning, your passion, and the process of becoming a success. More importantly, be patient with your man and your children. This is new to them. Maybe you have talked about it forever but talking and doing are two different things. They may need time to adjust. Continue to reassure them and ask for their understanding and support. By no means should you let their pouting or demands justify you quitting. You may need to slow the pace for a bit but do not stop. You are an example and while they may be complaining now, they are watching and learning. Show them how to be successful and live their dreams.

As for him, remain present in your relationship. He still has certain needs that must be met. Ask him what his concerns are and what he would need from you to make sure they are addressed. The key is in the conversation that says you have needs also. Be clear in what those are and don’t waver. Ask, “Can you do that for me, baby?” He just needs an understanding. Give him that, sometimes repeatedly, with love and patience. When he knows what is expected and can see how it will work, your significant other can become the loudest voice in your cheering section.

 

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HerStory: Tina Turner Graces Cover Of Vogue Magazine

Tina Turner, the Queen of Rock ‘n Roll is featured on the cover of Vogue Magazine, and believe me, she’s just as stunning as she was decades ago.  Turner, who is 73 still looks great and is still in the studio making records.  She is currently working on a new album called “Beyond 2”.

Tina Turner raised eyebrows when she recently renounced her American citizenship to become Swiss, after living there since the mid-90’s.  According to Turner, she says “I am very happy in Switzerland and I feel at home here. I cannot imagine a better place to live.”

Tina Turner has won 8 Grammy’s and is known for selling more concert tickets than any other solo artist in history. Her shows are jam-packed with the endless energy she seems to have effortlessly.  Turner is also known for her “perfect” legs, which have been insured at a mind-blowing 3.2 million dollars.

Until Tina Turner graced the cover of Vogue, Meryl Streep held the title of the oldest woman to grace the cover of Vogue. Turner has now taken that title.  The Queen of Rock ‘n Roll is in it for the long haul and we look forward to her upcoming album!

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Kelly Rowland Opens Up On Balancing Motherhood And Career

Kelly Rowland, former member of Destiny’s Child, now solo artist has opened up to Ebony magazine in an intimate interview about how she balances motherhood and her career.  Kelly has a 1-year-old son named Titan, is newly married, and is still in the studio recording hits. Just how does she do it? Here are some of the things Kelly had to say about her balancing act:

“My challenges are just really learning the balance of it all for myself, for my husband, for my baby, for my career. Making sure that everything gets the balance,” Kelly tries to ensure her family gets everything they need, but is careful not to neglect herself.  “Because how am I supposed to be filled and I have to pour so much of myself into everything?”

When asked how she finds the balance between Kelly Rowland the Entertainer vs. Kelly Rowland the wife/mother, she says: “I’m still learning it now,” she says. “Because now things are starting to pick up again, so I can only imagine when I have to go overseas and tour and things like that. I want Titan to come with me, but I also don’t want to wear his body out. And I want him to feel what stability feels like since my mom and I moved around a lot when I was a kid.”

Like most mothers, Kelly educated herself as much as she could on motherhood, but still says she wasn’t fully prepared, like all of us. Kelly says “I felt like when I brought Titan home I knew everything, and I didn’t. And it was so wrong because my husband would figure out what would make him calm immediately,”

Kelly gushes that the good parts have been “watching him, watching my husband, watching my marriage and learning so much behind that story alone. My husband is the greatest man on earth, he really is. And he’s the greatest dad. I’m so happy I thought enough of myself to choose a great man.”

Although she’s now a mother, she has hardly taken a backseat in her career.  She’s back in work mode. She landed a reoccurring role on Empire and recently dropped the club banger “Dumb.” While the song has a young party vibe, the lyrics are about being grown and sexy.

For the full interview with Ebony magazine:

Kelly Rowland Interview

Photo courtesy of

Matt Sayles/AP/Invision

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How to Make a Business Vision Board

I have several girl friends that are into this vision board thing. All around their offices and homes are poster boards and foam core displays of magazine ads, collages and pictures of random people doing what they, one day, want to do. I have tried to understand their enthusiasm over spending countless hours searching for the right picture to express their desires, and mounting them like a fine piece of art. I would much rather spend my time actually working toward making those things a reality that visualizing myself living them through random pictures and quotes. Maybe I could see it for material things like a picture of the house I want or the car I want or maybe my dream vacation. But for my business, I have business plans, marketing strategies, benchmarks and tasks lists to compile. How would a business vision board work?

Just in case this is an unfamiliar area for you too, let me explain. Vision boards are a visual representation of your goals and desires. They can be made many different ways, but their main purpose is to help you see, and therefore feel, how you want to feel when your goals are ultimately achieved. Many believe the Law of Attraction plays a role in this process. By simply putting your desires out there and believing in them, you use the power of your mind to translate whatever is in your thoughts and materialize them into reality.

I believe words give life and belief without action produces nothing, so I speak it and then put in the work. Believe me, I put in a lot of hard work so if there is a way to work smarter and not harder, I am open to it. So I have come up with a Business Vision Board that I am hoping you will try with me. It is actually more a visual representation of a business plan. Every business, no mater how large or small, should have a detailed vision of where they are going and how they are getting there. Since writing such an intricate document is one of the most challenging tasks for a business owner and typically goes undone, this Business Vision Board will serve to both help you visualize your goals like a typical vision board, and provide your focused benchmarks and tasks you can work into your business plan.

  • Break your board into sections labeled “1-Year,” “3-Years”, & “5-Years.” If there is space for a fourth section label it “SUCCESS.” That will encompass whatever your ultimate definition of success would look like to you for your business.
  • Within each year should be pictures of your product, service, you (or someone doing what you want) in action according to where it/you want to be at that time. If you want to be a speaker, for example,  in year 1 you may have a picture of you speaking to a small audience. In year 3 your picture may be of you at a specific conference you desire. For year 5, you may see yourself with a television show. Your Success section may have you speaking internationally with a 3-book deal and a successful consulting business.
  • In addition to the pictures, place post-its or small memo pad papers in each section. There you will write specific tasks (phone calls, get logo, build website, attend training, finish school, etc.) you will need to accomplish within that timeframe. If you can, give specific benchmarks. You may write, “Finish 1st draft of book by May.” You can translate this timeline to your business plan, especially if funding will be needed.
  • Utilize the inspiration of others. I love reading the autobiographies of successful people. Why reinvent the wheel? I can gleam from their experiences and use their words for inspiration. You can too. Put your favorite, most inspiring quotes on post-its and include them on your board.
  • Stay focused and dream big. The purpose of the timeline is to keep you progressing and focused on building a strong foundation for the long term success of your business so stay focused. However, do not develop tunnel-vision until you can only define your success by what others have accomplished. Dream BIG. If there is no picture available for where you ultimately see your business, draw one. We are going to have this vision board, the visualizing our success, and the law of attraction work in combination with our vision and our faith to WIN.
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Are You a Boss B****?

A Sexy Mom understands her responsibility to leave a legacy for her children. It is not solely about leaving material things like houses or money in the bank. Those things will definitely help. But that legacy should also include a good name, a circle of influence, and ownership of something that will bring perpetual success and resources for generations. Yet, for some reason, the definition of a “boss” has been redefined by some women to include flossing labels, materialism, and messy promiscuity all under the guise of feminist strength, independence and self-reliance.

I DO NOT want my daughter thinking lyrics like those in Nicki Minaj’s song, “Boss A** B****,” is what a successful woman entrepreneur (or a boss) truly is. I am the example before her of a woman and mother who is working hard to leave a legacy of ownership and open doors so she can just walk into because of the value attached to her name and all it means. Moms must be the example for our children of how to be responsible, purpose-filled, business-owners and change-makers. It starts with a radical, bold, and unapologetic change of how we think about our businesses and what we will allow to affect and influence our legacy. What are your thoughts about what Damon Dash says about the mentality of a boss?

[su_youtube url=”https://youtu.be/iQkhpw5FZac”]

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Your Business: It’s a Family Affair

Whether you are mom, wife, sister, aunt, or caring neighbor, there are many facets of YOU, all requiring your attention. The decision to become an entrepreneur only increased your work load. In addition to your usual titles and tasks you are owner, employee, receptionist, accountant, IT professional, and more. To say you are a “multi-tasker” would be an understatement. You are able to do each job, but are you able to perform them effectively, efficiently, and successfully? Are you growing and building your business or barely functioning and holding on in the midst of the chaos? If you are going it alone, chances are you are just holding on. One way to grow your business and ensure your success is by building your team.

Your first team members should always be those closest to you; your family. Where spouses are concerned, involvement is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. The trails of business are littered with the carcasses of failed marriages due to the growth of one spouse over another or emotional distance created by a shift in focus. Including your spouse in the building and managing of your business helps preserve the emotional connection of the relationship, instills accountability, and allows him to tap into his gifts and talents as you have yours. If you are connected to him and he is connected to your business he will have a vested interest in securing its success.

Being an entrepreneur and a mom has spawned the catch phrase mompreneur and its popularity created more accepting professional environments for parent and child. While some advances have been made, the daily challenges of being a mom and businesswoman remain. You have to balance your schedule with their schedule, give them attention when the business needs attention, feed and nurture them to grow and feed and nurture your business so it grows as well. Similar to how, if married, you involved your husband in the operating of your business is how you must approach the issue of children.

This is a scary concept because you have seen how your kids break up their toys and you do not want them to do that with yours. Remember the biblical principle of training up a child to prepare them for their future. We tend to apply that solely to their spiritual development. In fact we must train them up in finances, time management, communications, phone etiquette, organization, promotion, and several other areas that, coincidently, are areas you need assistance with in your business.

By working with and for you, your child can learn skills and values like being rewarded for hard work. For the hour or two you have a meeting where he/she is a perfect assistant, you immediately reward them with an hour or two doing their favorite activity or by going to their favorite spot. For every minute they are able to sit quietly while you are on the phone they get a quarter or dollar toward that must-have video game. Even for every flier they walk through the neighborhood distributing there is a reward. For every bag they help you carry, vendor table or event they help you run, there is a reward.

With youth come young bodies capable of moving quickly and working hard. Youth also brings sharp minds able to problem-solve and support you in understanding new technologies, for example. Young people offer insight into niche markets and emerging trends. By working with your children rather than seeing them as a distraction or chore, you are filling some of your labor voids while training and preparing them to succeed in business and life as adults.

Though you are the business owner, you cannot go it alone. Your success directly impacts the success and prosperity of your household and family. Recognize that your business is not just YOUR business. It is a family affair.

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Are You Sleeping With “The Enemy”?

I remember when I wanted to start my business Nadine Renee Naturals.  My husband wasn’t fully convinced that all this “natural stuff” actually worked.  It wasn’t until I made a believer of him, but using the natural remedies, that he changed his mind.  The more I made, and exposed him to, the more he was convinced.  He is fully convinced now, and supports my career choice.  When I decided to start SexyMomsRock with Denise, he was supportive once again.  He loved the idea, and thought women would respond well to such a positive business.

Thankfully, I haven’t had to battle with my husband about supporting my business goals.  While we both continue to maintain two completely different viewpoints of business, we continue to support each other, even through the discouraged days.  Please believe that there are days when you do feel discouraged, and you don’t want someone around you that would dump on you during those days.  You want to be with someone who can encourage you on those days, and allow you to vent.

So what happens when the person you’re with is rooting for your failure? What happens when they want to be in control, and can’t bear to see your business or vision thrive?  What happens when their insecurities make them say things so hurtful that you second guess the choices you’ve made, and the vision only you can see?

Insecurity can cause people to turn on you quick.  Insecurity can cause a spouse, or significant other to become someone unrecognizable.  Chances are, if this rings a bell with your mate, you’ve already seen the warning signs long before you showed them you wanted to go forward in your career or business.  These are warning signs you probably chose to ignore, or thought you could “fix”.  In only a few cases is this something that only arises when the situation arises.

So what do you do?  There are only a few things you can do in this situation.

1) Counseling: You can do couples counseling to find the root of the problem, and to see if this behavior can be changed.  Unfortunately…or fortunately, you will get out of this what you BOTH put into it.  Often times the root of the jealousy, or insecurity is rooted in the mate feeling like they have not achieved the potential for their own lives.  While it is not your personal issue, but one that they need to handle, it allows you to get a clearer picture in to the heart of the situation.  This will show you whether the situation can even be changed, or if it’s a dead relationship.

2) Decide: You will need to decide how important having your partner’s support and encouragement is to you.  for some, they are able to turn the views of their partner around by exposing them to what it is they do, or exposing them to the profits of the job or business.  If you are one of the people that can stand on your own, and that is not a major factor in your relationship, then it may be an area you both need to keep separated, but the relationship itself can continue to stay intact.

3) Follow Your Dreams: If the encouragement and support is something you desire, and require in your relationship, and your partner can not or will not fulfill that need, you may have to follow your dreams and let go of a dead relationship.   Sure, you can stay and hope they will change.  You might even be able to convince them.  After you’ve given it your all, you need to decide what’s best for you.  Following your dreams may be the choice you have to make.

As for me, support is a desire and requirement for my relationship.  It would put a major strain on my marriage if my husband could not, or would not support my dreams.  I support my husband’s vision and his dreams, and I expect the same in return with mine.  This is a non-negotiable need in my relationship.

So let us know, have you been sleeping with “the enemy”?  What have you done about it?  What worked/didn’t work for you?  Do you regret your decision?  We’d love to hear from you!

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Sexy Moms Rock is Sponsoring the 100 Women Entrepreneurs Run/Walk

The 100 Women Entrepreneurs Run/Walk is a 5k race designed to bring together career and women entrepreneurs who wish to join us for a day of sisterhood, fitness and raising money to support charity.

The run was founded and  created by entrepreneurs Vicki Irvin, Chereace Richards & Erana Tyler who all have reputations for empowering and leading women in life and business.

The run is designed for women of ALL fitness levels to come together and help us accomplish our mission.

A 5k race is a distance of 3.1 miles and very doable for EVERYONE, so please join us regardless if you run it, or walk it, we want YOU in attendance!

We are raising money for the Women Veterans Interactive (WVI) which is a women owned non-profit who assists women in the military and veterans on a healthy transition back into the workforce or with shelter.

Registration for the race begins at 8:00am on event day with the actual run starting at 9:00am.

Click here to register for The 100 Women Entrepreneurs 5k Walk/Run

The race will be held:

Bowie Town Center
15606 Emerald Way
Bowie, MD 20716

Saturday, October 25, 2014 from 8:00 AM to 11:00 AM (EDT)

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